Page 64 of Rectify

“You really want to do this dinner thing, huh?”

“You really don’t?” he pulls back narrowing his eyebrows at me.

“Is it a date?” I cringe at how lame I really am. “Because I’ve never been on one before.”

“How has no one ever taken you out on a date?”

“I’ve never been into them, or had time for them.”

He lights up like he’s won the lotto. “Until now?”

I laugh at his insinuation. “Well, you haven’t convinced me yet.”

“Is that so?” he scoffs. He brings his mouth to my ear. He whispers, and his breath sends shivers down my spine. “What if I promise to feed you?”

“Mmmmm,” I hum appreciatively.

“Then I promise to fuck you.” My legs itch to rub together as I think of him inside of me, but he holds them apart; taunting me.

“And then?”I breathe out.

“You’re a greedy little thing aren’t you?” His fingertip traces up the inside of my thighs and I’m sure if he goes any higher I’ll turn into a puddle of liquid on this cafe floor. “I’m going to fill you up, Pretty Girl. I’m going to fill you up till it hurts. Til you’re fucking bursting at the seams, and screaming my name.”

I lower my head and press my lips together to stifle a moan. His words are a lethal combination, a filthy romantic, dragging me deeper into his world.

“I’m going to be so deep inside you, Pretty Girl. You’re never going to want me out.”

I throw myself at him. Without restraint or a care in the world, I mold my mouth to his. I soak up his words, exactly like he intended, and tell him with every stroke of my tongue that he’s already so far inside my head. It’s irreversible. Embedded in my skin, and crawling his way into the unloved corners of my scarred heart. He’s there to stay. I just don’t know for how long.

16

Jay

When Sasha admitted she’d never been on a date before, I should’ve told her the truth. Neither had I. The only thing close to a relationship I’d ever had was with Bianca, and that was instigated by the pregnancy.

Bianca was a one night stand who turned into something more. We grew together, and learned to love one another. It wasn’t explosive or passionate, but it was enough for two people who were given the chance to be something they never thought they could be: Parents.

We both grew up with horrible experiences, and promised each other no matter what, it would never be like that for our child.

Unfortunately for my newly formed family, Bianca died from complications at childbirth. She had preeclampsia during her pregnancy and suffered a seizure while delivering Lily, that left her fighting for her life.

Since that moment it’s only ever been me and my daughter, living out Bianca’s wishes, one day at a time.

While whatever we planned, didn’t eventuate into forever, she showed me what it was like to hope. To want something more than you deserve, and to do everything in your power to keep it.

So, with a little help from Holly, I organise what is hopefully going to be the best first date Sasha has ever had, because tonight I’m setting the wheels in motion. I know it won’t be easy, and I’m certain there’ll be huge hurdles we’re going to face, but I need to make her mine. I need to know that she is willing to try this out with me, because I can’t live with the uncertainty of it any longer. Not when she’s not here in the flesh. A reality that I can taste and touch and talk to.

I can’t walk away knowing I never tried. Not again.

“You look really good,” Max compliments. Tilting her head up from the puzzle she’s putting together with Lily, she gives me an imperceptible nod. “I have a good feeling about it.”

“I hope you’re right.” I roll up my sleeves, feeling like a school kid getting ready for my end of school formal.

“She’s a really good egg. I don’t know anyone who would do what she did for us, to get Lily in the school. And that was before she even knew it was you.”

I laugh, because if she knew it was me, she probably wouldn’t have bent over backwards to help me out.

“Are you two going to be okay? You know you can call me if you needanything.”

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