Page 56 of Rectify

I finish off my food, and Jay tops up our glasses. “And your dad?”

His body stiffens ever so slightly at my question, but I push him anyway. “Where’s he in all this?”

He empties the second glass of wine in seconds. “He died of a heart attack a few years ago, but I hadn’t spoken to him since the day I left anyway.”

Flashes of a young Jay with bruises all over his face and his body fill my mind. The first time he took his shirt off in front of me, I nearly cried at the sight. I knew he didn’t want the attention, so I closed my eyes, buried my head in his pillow, and pretended I was asleep.

The day his dad came home drunk, and tore that house to shreds was the one and only time, I saw how destructive Jay’s life really was.

He’d gone out to calm down his dad, and the next thing I know, they were beating the fuck out of one another. In that moment, that man was a monster, and I was sure Jay was going to grow up to be one too. After all, children learn what they live.

With no condolences to offer for the man that scared the shit out of me, I tell him the truth. “Seems to me, like that was the best decision you ever made.”

14

Jay

Nobody knew what went on behind closed doors, except for Sasha. When she put two and two together, she didn’t breathe down my neck about it, she didn’t try to make me speak to someone, and beg me to try and change it.

She let me just be me. Accepting the flaw in my family, and understanding my silence.

I always wondered what it was about Sasha that had me willing to share such a shitty part of my life with her. And as I take in the way she’s been looking at me, with such compassion and conviction, I know it’s because of tonight.

The way she takes in every morsel of information, and appreciates the efforts I’ve made to change. Only someone who knew my secrets, lies, and failures, can really notice that I’ve tried.

I may never be perfect, and I’ll always be paying for my sins, but I could die a happy man knowing Sasha doesn’t see me as the same piece of shit who hurt her all those years ago.

We fly through small talk as we clean up the after dinner mess. Next time I’m taking her out, so we can skip this part and dive right into dessert.

The last dish goes into the dishwasher, and she gives me a small peck to say thank you. I hold her to me, before she has the chance to get away.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“What?” she feigns.

“I’ve been sitting across that table wanting to kiss you and touch you all night, you’re not getting away from me so fast.”

“But I bought dessert from my favourite place, and I really want you to try it,” she pouts.

“Your pussy tastes sweeter.”

She heats up in embarrassment and burrows her head in my chest.

“Please try the dessert,” she murmurs.

“Fine. But you owe me.” She bites her bottom lip to hide her smile, but I release it with my thumb, wanting to see her whole face transform. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?”

Every part of her beams. “You’ve mentioned it.”

I swat her arse, to break the haze and force myself not to fuck her in the kitchen “Get my dessert, already.”

She bounces to the fridge, and tells me to go and wait for her on the couch. Wanting to get tomydessert sooner, I do exactly as she asks.

She walks out with two small plates, and I almost expect her to sing happy birthday with the way she’s holding them. Gently placing them on the coffee table, she sits on the couch facing me. Crossing her denim covered legs, she points at mine. “Take your shoes off and sit like this.”

“I don’t think this changes how dessert tastes,” I tease.

“It doesn’t, but it definitely determines how many portions you get.”

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