Page 55 of Rectify

The plates are on either side, cutlery perfectly placed, and the serviettes are now origami birds

“Party trick?” I quip, with an unmissable smile.

He laughs. “It’s a good one right? Lily loves them”

I rush back to the kitchen and grab the salad I made earlier from the fridge, and sit back down.

“Dig in.”

Surprising me, he leans over and picks up my plate. Wordlessly he fills it with food; two pieces of chicken, heavy on the sauce, and a side of salad.

I just stare at him in wonder.

“What?” he asks looking confused.

“I feel like I don’t know you.”

“You don’t.” He repeats the motions with his own plate. “Not this version of me.”

I lower my head to hide the blush, the amazement, the want. I know it’s all written on my face, and I’m not ready for him to see it.

I raise a finger, signalling I need a minute, before slowly bringing my gaze back to his. “This is a good version of you.”

His smile lights up the whole room, like a young boy who’s been waiting his whole life for some form of validation. I point to his plate with my fork. “Eat before it gets cold.”

Trying to hide his smile, he looks down at the plate and digs in.

“You asked me why I left Sydney, earlier.”

Shocked he’s willingly offering up information, I nod. “Yeah, I didn’t ever think you’d leave your dad and Leroy.”

“Well, it started with a girl.”

I’m all ears now.

“Her name was Aisha. She was the daughter of some guy dad and the people he hung out with had crossed. And she was this innocent thing, completely oblivious to everything around her. Especially what her dad was involved with.”

“And let me guess, you just had to corrupt her?” I intend for it to come out as a joke, but old hurt makes it sound more like an intentional dig.

“I wanted to,” he continues unperturbed. “But she schooled me.”

“Yeah?”

“She wasn’t the girl that wanted the bad boy. She was the one who only wanted him if he changed.”

“So you changed for her?”

He takes the last sip of his wine before answering. “I got into this fight, and I thought they were going to kill me. I remember walking home, blood staining my clothes, both my eyes closing over, and thinkingwhy the fuck are you doing this shit?Everything I’d done up to that point was so hollow, and Aisha had reinforced that, reminded me of how insignificant my mark on the world really was. So, I made a plan, and when the timing was right, I left.”

“With Aisha?”

“Fuck, no,” he bellows. “She couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. It didn’t matter how good the sex was, or how hard she pushed for me to see the bigger picture. Or the fact that I did see it; cleaned up my act and listened to her. I was only ever going to be a person in passing to her.”

He’s taking off one layer at a time, hiding nothing from me, and I'm floored by his openness and honesty. I know I’m not going to find out years and years worth of information in one night, but the ease in which he’s sharing his deepest thoughts, and biggest regrets is inspiring.

“And Leroy never wanted to join you?”

“I begged him, but then it just became pointless. He had no interest in changing.”

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