Page 51 of Rectify

“No. You’ve got a lot going on.”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

She puts a hand on her hip in frustration. “Just answer the question, Jay.”

“I’m fine. I promise.” Reducing the gap between us, I’m now close enough to touch her. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.”

“No.” The end of her ponytail sits over her shoulder, and I twirl it around my fingers. “It's something. It’s way more than I deserve from you.”

“I—”

I draw her to me with her hair, cutting off her words and kiss her because I can’t not. Because it’s been too long since the last time. Because I’m a selfish fucker that wants to leave her wet and wanting when I walk out of here.

She melts into me, wrapping her arms around my neck like she’s been desperate for it just as much as I have.

Every stroke means something different. Empathy. Sadness. Comfort. Gratitude. Our tongues say it all to one another. Reading between the lines, exploring the unknown, wanting the impossible.

Rattling of the door has us reluctantly pulling apart. We press our foreheads against one another as we steady our breathing

“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow,” she whispers.

I look up at her and give her my cheekiest smile. “I look forward to it.”

13

Sasha

I’m pacing around Claire’s office like I own the place, waiting for her to come back in from an emergency outside. Seeing her has become a regular thing, and now with Jay making an unexpected impact in my life, I’m relieved I have her ears to listen to me ramble.

Each week we’ve been going through the five things that have changed my life the most. Dakota is the most obvious, but she’s also the least negative.

Processing Jagger’s incarceration was an emotional rollercoaster. I didn’t realise I had shut down so much hurt and anger, until I came to talk to Claire and my eyes were still swollen from crying three days later.

Today she’s going to try to ask me about Hendrix, and I’m going to try and swing the conversation to Jay. It’s not ideal, because I know Hendrix is one of my biggest hurdles, but there is so much going on in my life right now that doesn’t revolve around him, it almost feels sacrilegious not to address it.

Claire steps in, and offers me an apologetic smile. “I'm so sorry about the delay. If you need more time you're my last client of the day, so you can stay back if you want.”

“Are you sure you want to offer something like that?” I joke. “We'll be here all night.”

“If that's what it takes.”

I plop myself on the beanbag, but choose not to draw today. I'm too jittery, my hands unable to keep focus on such a task.

“You look a bit anxious,” she points out. “Is everything okay?”

“I'm fine. I think.” I nod to myself more than her. “It's not a bad anxious.”

She raises a brow. “Care to start from the beginning for me?”

I pick at the cuticles on my fingers, as I admit to what’s got me so worked up. “It's Jay.”

“What about him?”

“We slept with each other last week, and we have plans to do it again tonight.”

Well, I fucking hope we do.

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