Page 46 of Rectify

“So, next Wednesday night?”

My body buzzes in excitement at the thought of a repeat. “Ye—”

Seeing no point in waiting for the rest of the word, he seals his mouth over mine, devouring my next breath. Slow and sensual, his tongue strokes mine, each taste an enticing promise of what’s to come.

“I better get going,” he murmurs against my lips.

In a daze, I watch him walk away, as if he didn’t just change things. As if he didn’t just pop out of the last book I read, and became the guy they write books about.

“Jay,” I shout before he hops into his car.

He tips his chin up at me.

“Thank you for checking on me.”

He winks. “Anytime, Pretty Girl.”

12

Jay

Leaving her asleep, naked and sprawled across the grey sheets of her bed was the only option I had. I couldn’t wake her to say bye because I wouldn’t want to leave, and I didn’t want Lily to wake up at home without me.

Every morning she calls for me from her bed, arms flailing around as she waits for me to reach her room and pick her up. We animatedly run back to my room and play peek-a-boo for twenty minutes while she giggles ‘til she might explode, and I secretly agonise over how close the day is where she won't care for our theatrics anymore.

This morning was the first time I ever felt torn on where my attention should and shouldn’t be. It’s a no brainer that Lily will always come first, she fills up every aspect of my life, yet when I woke up next to Sasha something inside shuffled.

It opened doors that I thought I had shut very well. Locked even. A part of me that I was content to leave untouched and forgotten. And now the very thing I didn’t think I wanted is suddenly there, like a shiny new toy, that I so desperately want to have.

I hoped to bump into Sasha when I took Lily to school, and the disappointment in my chest when she wasn’t there scared the shit out of me. Enough that I showed up to her house like a fucking stalker.

She’s a distraction I want, but definitely don’t need. I need to focus on tying loose ends here and getting back to Melbourne. I need to make sure Lily is back in her normal routine, in our house, as soon as possible.

“Where’d you go last night?” Max’s voice interrupts me, immediately adding to the to-do list I was mentally writing. I need to work out what’s going to happen to Max.

“I just needed a change in scenery. Thank you for watching Lily.”

She makes an unimpressed noise, while she lays across the second-hand couch that graces the living room. I look up from my laptop and cringe at the sight of her. She’s living sadness and I have nothing good to offer her.

“Do you want me to make you something to eat?” She doesn’t answer me, she won’t even open her eyes “Max.”

I incessantly tap on one of the keys, trying to work, but getting overwhelmed the more I think.

One thing at a time, fuckwit. Max first, everything else after.

“Max.”

“Can’t you just shut the fuck up, and leave me alone.”

Leaving the table, I stride to where she is and sit on the floor beside the couch. Her eyes are still closed, but the light flutter of her lids lets me know she’s aware of how close I am to her.

“Max,” I whisper. “I know you’re upset, and there’s no rush on your grief. But you have to take care of yourself.”

Her chin quivers, her tears a constant running tap.

“I know, you want me out of here,” she says through sniffles. “Just give me a few days until my friends clean out their spare room.”

Curious as to what kind of friends she’s referring to, considering there was nobody but a bunch of junkies at Leroy’s funeral, and nobody has checked in on her since I’ve been here, I probe a little more than she’d like. “Where would you go?”

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