Page 45 of Rectify

As I bring it closer to me and hug it like you would a body, I notice a crumpled piece of paper carefully placed on the bed. Where Jay would be.

I reach for it and notice it’s an extremely faded receipt. I turn it around and find the back free of faded print, but in its place is a serious attempt at neat and small writing.

Pretty Girl,

Sorry, I had to leave. I wanted to be home before Lily woke up.

Iwilltalk to you soon.

Guilt washes through me for assuming he’d pulled a fast one. I’m torn between quashing my old insecurities, which I’ve been working so hard to do, and reacting to the only behaviours I know from him.

I empathise with the man in the note. I can't fault him for wanting to put his daughter first. It’s what I would expect. I choose not to respond to him, the distance probably better as I process last night.

Checking my phone, I notice I’ve still got a bit of time before I have anywhere to be. I fire off a quick text to Dakota, before jumping back into the book I was reading before last night happened.

Forty-five minutes later the book is over, and my hopeless romantic heart is full.

I throw the sheets off, and laugh to myself as I look at my naked body. I can't remember the last time I slept naked, let alone had orgasms that I didn't regret later. It’s foreign, but it’s welcomed. I feel almost giddy. Young. Hopeful.

Deciding on breakfast before I shower, I throw two pieces of bread in the toaster and make butter and honey on toast. Just as I’m about to inhale the second slice, my doorbell rings. Assuming it’s some kind of door-to-door salesperson, I don’t bother answering. But when the annoying sound returns, I drop my food, curiosity winning out.

Cinching my short satin robe around myself, I open the door. Half hiding behind it, I lean my head a little farther and find a jittery looking Jay.

Feeling less inclined to keep myself hidden now I know who it is, I step out and look at him pointedly.

“Are you okay?”

The day seems to have brought about a different man. A little more shy, a little less sombre. He’s in washed-out jeans and a plain white t-shirt that hugs his arms perfectly.

“I dropped Lily off at school and noticed you weren’t there.” I realise he never waited for my answer, as he concentrates on his hands in his pockets before looking back up at me. “It’s tomorrow, and I wanted to make sure you were okay?”

His concern stuns me into silence. I wasn’t expecting it, which makes it sweeter than I want to admit. The old me would lie to his face, and then obsess over every other detail later. I’m not doing that anymore. Especially not with him.

“I have an appointment this morning. So, I usually go to work after it.” He nods in understanding. “Do you want to come in?”

Much to my disappointment, he shakes his head no. “I don't want to keep you,” he clarifies. “And if I come inside, I’m going to most definitely keep you.”

I try to hide the blush that creeps up my face, but it’s useless. The mischievous glint in his eyes, and the way his knuckle kisses my cheek tells me he likes it.

He lowers his voice. “I know you probably don’t need me invading your space, like an overbearing motherfucker, but I wanted to check on you.”

I’m down with the invasion of space.

The silence lingers a little too long as he waits for me to say something. Anything.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying to play it cool, but I really have no idea how to do that.”

He chuckles softly. “I don’t need cool, I just want to know if you want to do it again sometime?”

“Yes,” I blurt out. “I mean, I only have Wednesday nights without Dakota and obviously you have Lily full-time and…” My stomach feels like lead, as I remember Max in this whole equation. “Please don’t tell me. Last night, did we?” The words are all twisted and tangled. I stop to inhale and focus before continuing. “Tell me you didn’t cheat on Max.”

He tucks his hands around my neck and tilts my face up to his. “There’s no denying I’m a shitty human being, but for the record, I’ve never cheated on a woman in my life.”

My relief is short lived, when I realise there’s still no explanation as who Max is. Reading my mind, he immediately lays my fears to rest. “She’s Leroy's.”

“Oh.” I think back to how upset she was the other day, and the puzzle pieces all begin to fit together.

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