Page 36 of Rectify

“I don’t want to die with a list of regrets, Sasha. I buried my brother today, and I will wear that black mark over my heart’til the day I die. I don’t need a matching one with your name on it.”

My confession knocks the wind out of both of us, and I stand, pulling her up with me. Her chest rises and falls as I move in closer. The staccato sound of her breathing the only noise between us.

Her amber eyes don’t leave mine, water filling them up as each second ticks on by.

“What are you thinking right now?” I ask.

Closing her eyes, she tilts her head back and exhales before looking back at me. “How that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

I cradle her face in my hands. “I’ve got fifteen years worth of nice things to say to you.”

It’s in this moment I realise just how much I want her. How badly I want to erase the heartache that is so glaringly obvious every time I look at her. Whether it was my fault or not, I have this aching need to fix her.

Maybe it’s my own grief and sadness motivating me; coaxing me into actions I can’t take back. I want to wrap myself around her, and delve into the world she’s always kept so close, and never come out. I want to mark every inch of her. Overwhelm her. Consume her. And make sure she’s thinking about tonight for the next fifteen years.

“I’m going to kiss you,” I tell her. She closes her eyes, her lashes wet and thick, and licks her lips like she’s waiting for me.

There’s no protest. No argument. Not one single reason why we shouldn’t do this.

My body sings a song of desperation, but I ignore it. I push away the ever growing need to ravage her and use this moment to teach myself a lesson in restraint.

Good things come to those who wait.

Holding her, I move closer, teasing her mouth with mine. Brushing my lips over hers; again and again.

Delicate. Gentle. Tender.

Softly pressing my mouth to hers, my lips offer the lightest touch.

Simple. Soft. Safe.

I kiss her the same way you would hold cracked glass to avoid it breaking in your hands. Cautious, yet full of purpose. Just like dancing, I take the lead and she follows. Slow and sensual, I give room for her need to build. My tongue sweeps the seam of her lips, and her pulse flutters against my hands.

Opening up for me, I lick the inside of her mouth, enticing her tongue to come out and play. With each stroke, familiarity overrides her fear, and we become an explosion of wet, hot, and hungry. I tease her, and she tastes me.

Our lips rub raw, as we make out like the teenagers we once were. Teetering on the edge of more, unable to settle for anything less.

Releasing my tight hold on her face, I drag my fingers down her exposed arms, and settle my palms on her hips. Slowly, I guide her so the back of her thighs hit the nearby furniture.

Insistent on not breaking the kiss, my mouth remains glued to hers, as my hands grip the back of her legs, and I lift her up enough that her arse sits on the edge of the table.

Her legs widen, inviting me closer, and I step inside. Standing at full height, I feel her body arch under my touch. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pulls me down, closer to her.

She clings on to me, trying to wrap her legs around me. Her desire for me has me achingly hard. Begrudgingly, I pull myself off her but stay millimetres away from her lips.

“Don’t move,” I command. “Don’t open your eyes. Keep. Fucking. Still.”

I take a step back and take in her exquisite form. Her breathing is loud and heavy. Her neck’s arched, her back bowed, and her cheeks flushed.

“Even my wildest dreams couldn’t have conjured you up as fucking sexy as this.” I tug at the elastic band that holds her hair together and watch it cascade down her back.

“Please, Jay,” she begs as she opens her eyes.

Needy, and pliant, she is the beautiful side of desperation.

And it’s all because of me.

My dick throbs at the sound of her, and I palm my length seeking reprieve. I seal my mouth to hers and hoist her up off the table. Lowering us both, I sit on the dining chair, and with her legs on either side of my thighs she straddles me.

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