Page 17 of Rectify

“So answer me this, how do you plan on avoiding him?” She knows it’s almost impossible. There’s no way I can run the whole centre based on avoiding him. But I’ll be damned if I don’t want to try.

“I don’t know yet, but you’re going to help me, yeah?”

“I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“Ride or die, baby.”

She stands up and grabs her belongings. Adjusting her leather satchel across her body, she turns to face me. “Not yet, you sneaky bitch, I’ll decide after I hear the whole story.”

I flip her the bird, and she smirks. “Make me dinner tonight, or let's go out. I want to know every detail.”

“Aren’t you sick of my shit yet?”

“No such thing,” she says dismissively. She makes her way to the door and lets herself out. Just before she disappears out of sight, I hear a loud, and comforting I love you.

“Love you, too,” I say to an empty room.

Picking myself off the couch, I quickly text Dakota and tell her Holly and Riley are coming over for dinner. Then flick another one off to Holly.

Me: Dinner at my place. Be here at 7. Bring Riley

Holly: We’ll bring the wine.

The quicker I rip this Band-Aid off, the quicker I can work out how not to bump into Jay.

* * *

I pull the apple pie out of the oven and slowly walk it to the dining table. Placing it on the chopping board, I take my seat and wait for it to cool down before cutting into it.

Now that dinner is finished, Dakota has hidden in her room, under the guise of homework. At this time, I usually catch her scrolling through Facebook or working through this week’s Snapchat filters. With Holly and Riley here, I leave her to her own devices. I don’t really want to get into things about Jay with her around anyway.

Pouring us each another glass of wine, I delicately cut into the pie, and plate up each person a slice.

“Do you have ice cream to go with that?” Riley asks.

I gesture to the kitchen. “You know where everything is. I can’t stand mixing hot and cold temperatures, so I just assume everybody has the same taste as me.”

“Presumptuous much?” Holly teases.

“I have wonderful taste, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you're giving that looker the run around?” Riley interjects.

I glare at Holly while answering Riley. “I'm not giving anyone the runaround. And I didn't say I didn't find him attractive.”

Holly stops her full spoon mid-air and smirks at me. “I knew you found him attractive.”

“It doesn't change anything. I still don't want to see him.”

“You've made that very clear. You just haven't told me why.”

“It was so long ago, it doesn't even matter,” I lie. “We just had a falling out, and I don't feel like rehashing it.”

“You're older and time’s passed,” Riley chimes in. She sits back down, a bowl filled with vanilla ice cream accompanying her. “Can't you just get over it? Move forward?”

Her questions aren't rude or intentionally hurtful, but they sting anyway. I should get over it. It's been so long, I should've moved forward when it came to so many things, but I've never been able to.

I don't know if it's my personality or because my actions had such a life-changing effect on my future, but those months with Jay played a bigger part in the shaping of my life than I ever wanted to give them credit for.

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