Page 15 of Rectify

“Mr. Evans,” she calls out with a smile. “How is Lily today?”

“She’s getting more comfortable as the days go past.” We meet in the middle of the hallway and both stop. “And you can call me Jay.”

She nods at my request, even if she looks surprised by my sudden friendliness. It’s a quick reminder to do better at peopling, especially when it comes to Lily. “Well, have a good day, Jay.”

She’s just about to walk off when I decide to continue with the awkwardness and ask about Sasha. “Um, Holly?” She quickly plasters back on her professional smile; big and fake; patiently waiting for me to stop wasting her time. “Is Sasha here today?”

“Is everything okay with Lily? Whatever it is, I can fix it.” Her words are rushed and her tone defensive. I realise Sasha must be her boss, and I've given off the impression I'm unhappy.

“No. No. It's nothing like that.” I run my fingers through my hair, thinking of the words before I say them. “We’re actually old friends, and I was hoping I would get to talk to her.”

“Oh.” She scrutinises my face before continuing. “Did you and Sasha happen to bump into each other yesterday, by any chance?”

The question has me wondering if Sasha mentioned me to Holly after seeing me. “Yes. I actually had no idea she worked here.”

“Actually, she owns this place,” she informs me, her voice filled with pride. “It's one of the best around.”

“Do you think you could tell me when she'll be around again?” I scratch the back of my ear in an odd show of nervousness. “I would really love to talk to her.”

“I can’t say for sure when she’ll be in,” she offers hesitantly. “But I will pass on the message.”

“Thanks. I would really appreciate that.” Turning on my heels, I leave the place as quick as I can, hoping to avoid any more desperation from falling from my mouth.

Hopping into my car, I tell myself this isn’t a sprint. I’ll get my time with Sasha. And maybe bombarding her at work isn’t the most well thought out plan anyway. I’ll stick to the safest option and keep on bringing Lily and picking her up from school.

The least that can happen is she gets used to seeing my face around here, because I could sure get used to hers.

* * *

Stepping into the hospital room, Max’s head peeks up from one of the million gossip magazines she’s addicted to. I tip my chin up at her and take the spare seat next to Leroy’s bed. Sitting opposite one another we fall into our usual routine of silence and waiting.

There is nothing for us to do here except entertain ourselves ‘til the doctors come in and give us the daily spiel of how Leroy isn’t really showing any signs of improvement. I think we both stay here out of obligation, more than necessity. He has no idea we’re here, or that days on end are passing without him.

He’s been put in an induced coma ‘til the brain swelling goes down, but the biggest problem is it isn’t.

For years I tried to bring him to Melbourne with me, lure him with a life of honest, and uncomplicated work. A fresh start. But it never held the same appeal for him as it did me. Instead he watched my father rot from the inside out and took the crown once the old man finally made it six feet under.

It always amazed me how two people could experience the same horrible things and end up on two different paths of life. He was a memory until he needed something. And healwaysneeded something. My biggest weakness was never being able to say no. Until I had Lily. She was what pushed me to accept Leroy and I would never have the conventional familial relationship I wanted. And once I was able to admit I was a lone wolf when it came to my family, my last tie to my past was finally cut.

Like stepping into a time warp, Max’s phone call took me back to the very night I decided to leave this place. Leroy got beaten up for crossing the wrong people. Not the first time, but with his luck finally running out, it’s definitely the last.

Sobbing on the other end of the phone, I had no idea who Max was, but the wordshe needs money, they’re going to come for me too, and he’s going to die,had me uprooting my life in Melbourne and coming back to the place I never called home.

“The doctors say anything today?” I ask, breaking the silence.

“I think someone is going to ask you about organ donation.”

“You think he’s got anything worth giving?”

She glances at him with pity. “With all the cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs he used, not even his skin would be a viable option.”

“Why didn’t you ever get him to stop?” Her hollow eyes look up at me, the question unexpected for both of us. We don’t do this, talk or spend time with one another. I’ve been focused on the schedule, so I can avoid this at all costs. Leroy is somebody who needs my help, and Max is collateral. The second I think of them as family is the second the reality becomes too much to bear.

“He was all I had, and the only reason he kept me around was because I didn’t bust his balls about shit like that.” She lowers her head in shame. “I’m not proud of the way we lived or the things we did, but it was all we knew.”

“Did you know I asked him to move to Melbourne? To start fresh?”

There’s a long pause before she delivers an eye-opening blow. “He told me he didn’t have family. I didn’t know you existed until I found out you were listed as his Next of Kin.”

---