Page 8 of Revive

Her side eye game is strong, and I laugh. I shuffle up beside her. “You’re right. Show me what he got you.”

Dakota’s little fingers turn each page. With such delicate precision, I watch her make sure she leaves no fingerprints on all the photos. “Uncle Drix showed me all the traditional tourist type photos over dinner, but I can’t believe he knew these were the ones I would love the most.”

“You’ve given him enough photography talks to last a lifetime, how could he not know?”

Mesmerised, she silently takes in the beauty of the hidden treasures of the world. While I feel Drix’s love wash over me.

Stone alleyways, locals hanging over their balconies, people wearing traditional dress; the photos are powerful and hypnotic. They’re also the exact parts of the world we discussed going and seeing together. A lifetime ago, he and I were going to travel to every corner of the globe. Close our eyes, point to the map, and fly.

Each photo has intricate details of different churches in Jerusalem, people at festivals in Rome, and an elaborate amount of street food in Barcelona. Hendrix brought fourteen-year-old me every inch of the world, and I fall. Farther. Deeper. Harder. Madly in love with him. As if the pain, the lies and the hurt never happened, I fall like it’s the first time all over again.

“I wishI was best friends with those Michaels twins like you are,” Bethany says. A little bit taller than I am, she rests her elbow on my shoulder and chews her gum loudly in my ear. Like every lunchtime, we’re all circled around the edges of the handball courts while all the boys try and outplay one another.

It’s a pit of teenage hormones, where the girls watch like vultures, and the boys perform for us. Showing off who’s funnier, smarter, and stronger. But it’s all a charade and completely unnecessary. All the boys know there’s only two of them all the girls want; Hendrix, and Jagger. My boys. My best friends.

I’ve lived next door to Jagger and Hendrix my whole life. Hanging out on the decrepit streets of Sydney’s South West, we became inseparable. Through the years the dirt and grime of our surroundings faded away, as we replaced them with a solid foundation of friendship, trust and loyalty. To everyone else they’re deprived of positive influences; rough, misguided, and unpolished. To me, they’re boys who stand proudly as men in spite of all that. They’re my protectors; walls of steel hiding their truths, and gladly accepting the judgement, and labels; waiting for the moment where they’ll show the world just how wrong she can be.

“I would be happy with either one of them,” she continues.

Since we all came back from our summer holidays, school has been filled with endless amount of conversations of who’s with who and who wants to be with who. Namely how the Michaels twins filled out, and how every girl is suddenly ready for them to be their first.

Looking straight ahead, I watch Jagger and Hendrix standing side by side, commanding all the attention around them. Animatedly they tell a story, throwing their heads back with laughter, and earning high fives and cheers from the boys who so desperately want to be them.

Their physical traits are too similar for anyone to notice how different they are. Jagger is night, and Hendrix is day. One can’t function without the other, and together it’s a beautiful blend of everything they have to offer. And the older we get, the more time we spend together the, harder it is to ignore.

“I’m going to talk to them.” Bethany rights herself and starts adjusting her clothes; opening the buttons on her school shirt, allowing the top of her boobs to peek through. “Come with me,” she murmurs, her mouth open, and a cherry flavoured lip gloss circling her plump lips. Bethany is like a dog with a bone. A gorgeous dog with a bone that’s impossible to ignore. She can be obnoxious and annoying, but how she looks on the outside is enough to turn all the teenage boys inside out. She won’t let her obsession go until she has a reason too, and for now, she’s dug her claws into the idea of her hooking up with either of them.

In the blink of an eye, irritation consumes me. “Do you have to chew so loudly?” I shake her arm off me and bend to pick up my bag.

“What’s your problem?”

“Nothing,” I lie. “I need to get to class.”

Just like everybody else, I’m consumed by those damn Michaels twins. An unexplainable sense of protection and possession draws me to Jagger. A desperate need to keep his beauty to myself because nobody else deserves it. But with Hendrix, it’s a selfish obsession. One where every day starts with applying subtle hints of mascara and lip gloss in the mirror. Wearing my hair a little different, my clothes a little tighter. A little shorter. For him, I’m desperate to cross lines and break out of the friend zone. But the fear of rejection and losing my best friend fuels my insecurities. It’s a matter of what I want versus what’s right.

Bethany walks toward him, and jealousy begins to simmer underneath the surface. I can’t watch her flirt with him, and him enjoy it. I need to leave before my blood boils, and my best-kept secret overflows from my mouth and into the wrong ears.

Turning away, I head in the direction of my next class. Even though I'm unsure of what to do next, I do know it’s beginning to impact our friendship. I’ve been avoiding him, instead of admitting my feelings, and it feels like the loss and change between us is inevitable.

“Sasha, wait up.” My feet move faster. “Sash,” he repeats, his voice closer, his body beside me in no time. “My legs are twice the length of yours, where do you think you’re getting away to so fast?”

“Drix. Hey,” I respond nonchalantly. “I didn’t hear you.”

He shakes his head and smiles. “Why do you even bother lying to me? What’s wrong?”

I shake my head and shrug, for the first time feeling defeated that he knows me so well. We step together in silence.One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.Eventually, a loud sigh leaves my mouth. Resigned by his patience, the words tumble out quicker than I’d like, the familiarity of telling him everything coaxing the truth out of me.

“I just needed to get away from everyone, Bethany was talking my ear off and I wasn’t really in the mood for it.”

“Tell me about it, she was doing my head in too.”

I look at him expectantly, wanting more of an explanation.

“She’s just becoming so obvious.”

My eyes narrow together. “Obvious?”

“Yeah, you know? The arm touching, the fake laughing. It’s kinda hard to miss.”

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