Page 76 of Revive

“For fucks sake,” I shout into the air. “Who even put you in charge?”

“Stop your whining, we have a reservation and I don’t want to be late.”

“Late for who? It’s your birthday.”

She waves me off. “I put some clothes on your bed. You’ve got twenty minutes. Make it happen.”

“Fucking diva,” I mutter.

There on my bed is my black dress. The black dress that started it all. It’s been five weeks and I feel like my whole heart has been ripped out of my chest. I think about him constantly, and I miss him so much it borderline’s unhealthy.

He filters through every thought in my mind, and every space in my house. His memory is paralysing and I just don’t know how to get past it.

Emerson mentioned he hasn’t seen or spoken to anyone since it happened, but I shut down the conversation as quick as I could. I didn’t need a reason to wonder why he hasn’t come to me. To tell me we’re over, or to tell me we’re not.

Some days when I’m feeling extra masochistic I let myself revel in his silence and give myself false hope, that he’s coming back. He just needs time.

Emerson bangs on the door. “I don’t hear you getting ready, you’ve got ten minutes.”

What a fucking ball buster.

Grabbing the dress, I put it on through tears, and get ready for him. I tell myself the lie, because I really don’t know what to do if he’s not the be all and end all for me.

For the first time ever I can sympathise with my mother telling me she wanted to grieve for the love of her life on her own.

Drix isn’t dead, but I feel like I’m grieving all the same. And every time I think I can rejoin the world and put it all behind me, my heart tells me it’s not time yet.

My bedroom door swings open, and Emerson barges in. Prepared to reprimand me for breathing incorrectly, the expression on her face is mildly surprised that I’m actually dressed and ready to go.

“See? Look how pretty you are. Don’t you feel better?”

I give her my best clenched teeth smile. “Couldn’t be better,” I grit out.

“Chop. Chop. Young lady,” she says while clapping at me. “Let’s go.”

Deciding to completely ignore her for the rest of the night. I lock up the house, and jump in her car. It takes us forty-five minutes to arrive to what I thought was a restaurant and is now a Karaoke Bar.

“Karaoke?” My voice cracks in surprise.

She narrows her eyes at me. “Is there a problem?”

“Since when do you sing?”

“Sometimes I like to try different things.”

“Biggest crock of shit I ever heard,” I mutter underneath my breath. She’s the worst liar.

“God, you are in the shittiest mood,” she snaps. “Could you please get over it.”

“Fine. I’m sorry.” I give her a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re right. It’s your birthday, and I will have fun with you tonight.” I offer her my pinky. “I promise.”

Stepping into the Karaoke bar, I’m surprised to see it’s set up similar to a restaurant. It’s got all different sized tables, that face the stage, and a bar to order food and drinks from. Expecting to see more of Emerson’s other friends, I’m surprised when she sits us at a table of two.

“Where’s everyone else?” I ask.

“It’s just you and me.”

“I wouldn’t have minded if other people came,” I say feeling guilty. “I know I’ve been a dick to be around, but I would’ve played nice for your birthday.”

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