Page 75 of Revive

“You don’t think you’ve avoided me enough? It’s been two weeks. I’ve been waiting to hear from you.”

“To hear about what?”

“Us. Together.”

The words us does nothing. My heart doesn’t jumpstart, my mind doesn’t race into the future, and I can’t even muster a smile. “You can’t be serious, Sasha?”

Her eyes widen incredulously. “What’s wrong with you? Of course I’m serious.”

“Sash.” I sit beside her on the couch, ridding myself of the tension, choosing my words carefully. “I don’t want to be with you. I don’t love you.”

Her tears fall, and it’s the time I would usually stop. I would do my best to rid her of the pain and coddle her as best I could; but those days are over. “And while you think it stings, you’ll realise you don’t love me either.”

She doesn’t protest and it alleviates the small amount of guilt I have.

“You love the idea of me. The idea of us, and if we get together now, it’s just going to be another six months or a year of our lives, where we could be with people that make us so much happier.”

“Like Taylah.”

At the mention of her name, every broken piece inside me begins to meld itself together. Sasha talking about Taylah should sting. There should be internal conflict and worry that whichever I choose, the grass may be greener on the other side. But it doesn’t happen. The conflict doesn’t come. And I know without a shadow of a doubt. I’m going to make her mine.

“Exactly, like Taylah.”

“You really love her, don’t you?”

I wipe away her tears, and kiss the top of her head. “I really fucking love her. “

I move off the couch, and walk to my front door. It’s a little rude and abrasive, but this isn’t just figurative, I need to literally shut the door on this part of my life, to finally be able to chase the next part.

“When it’s time, I’ll tell her and hopefully I’ll be worthy enough of her.”

She catches on to my movements, and meets me at the door. She looks at me with sad eyes, and I look at her with a clear mind.

“You’re more than worthy Drix.” She kisses me on the cheek, before heading out the door. “Don’t ever let someone make you feel otherwise.”

25

Sasha

Running my fingers through Dakota’s hair she falls asleep while watching some late night reality television show. Sneakily, I drag her phone out of her grasp, and hope she has a number I need.

Just as I thought, it’s there. Sending it to myself, I grab my phone of the armrest, and do the most noble thing I have ever done in my life.

Me: Love him right. Love him better.

26

Taylah

Emerson clicks her tongue in disapproval. “Seriously, that’s not what you’re wearing out to my birthday.”

I look down at the casual black ensemble I paired with heels to “perk it up,” and shrug, “It works for me.”

“It’s not your birthday,” she sasses. ‘You don’t get the last say.”

“My outfit isn’t your gift.”

“Make it my gift, go and change.”

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