Page 71 of Revive

“Like, I said. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Can, I sit next to you?” Placing my hands on the floor, I give myself a push, only to see his head shaking in my direction. The answer expected, but still painful.

“I’m sorry. I'm so so sorry.”

“I was furious about Jay. Fucking furious,” he spits out. “You were there when you told me, you got the full brunt of my reaction.”

I chose to tell Drix about Jay, because I knew he would be sharing his conquest with the world any minute. I could predict Drix finding out, and him losing his mind, just like he did with Jagger.

“But I’m still trying to work out how me being so mad pushed you into sleeping with Jagger?”

I wish I had an explanation. I wish I had a good enough reason to make all this worthwhile, but I don’t. I just have a long list of mistakes, because I was too immature and too insecure to let myself enjoy anything in life.

“It wasn’t intentional. I was so upset, and it just happened,” I try to explain. “I’m so, sorry.”

“Stop saying fucking sorry,” he screams. “Do you even mean it when you say it? Do you?” His fury is all it takes for slow tears to turn into an uncontrollable sob. He looks up at me for the first time, his eyes full of nothing but hate. “I feel like I don’t know you at all. You've done almost everything there is to push me away and break my heart.“

“I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment,” I bite back through tears, my defense mechanism trying to push through.

“It’s like you decided to sleep with everyone who wasn't me,” he says flippantly

“Are you calling me a slut?”

“Don’t twist my fucking words.” His lips curl up in disgust. “You broke up with me because you thought I wanted sex, andyouweren’t ready. Yet here I am, the only virgin in the room.”

“Will you ever forgive me?”

“You’re having my brothers baby.”

“You’ll be an uncle.” I cringe as soon as the words make their escape “Shit, I—”

“What an awesome consolation prize,” he scoffs. Pushing on his knees he rises, and walks toward me. Kneeling in front of me, he grabs my hands. “It should’ve been mine, Sasha. Right now, or ten years from now we should’ve been having children together.”

“We still can,” I whisper.

“Maybe one day when the dust settles and the stars align you and I can have our life together.”

“Yes,” I cry. “We can Drix, I know we can.”

“But for now.” The slight bit of hope I heard in his voice only two seconds earlier disappears quick smart. “I don’t want to see your face, or hear your voice. I want it to be like you don’t even exist.”

The Birth of Dakota

Laying on my chest, I check her hands and feet, and make sure all her fingers and toes are there. Skin on skin, I’m exhausted, she’s content and every single thing in my life, before this moment, pales in comparison.

It’s been a day since I gave birth to her, and as each hour passes, I’m even happier than the one before. Jagger has slipped into his role with ease, the love and adoration he has for this delicate new life, mirroring mine.

The door opens and I expect to see Jagger or the nurse come in to check up on me, but it’s Drix.

Scraping a chair across the carpet, he sits beside me, his eyes all on her. “She’s beautiful,” he says in a hushed tone.

It’s been close to ten months and I’ve managed to stay out of his way, exactly like he asked. Shocked, I lay back and enjoy hearing his voice.

“I know you’re tired. So just listen, okay?” Nodding, I close my eyes, the onslaught of emotions from seeing him, mixed with my hormones, too much to bear. “This has been the hardest and most happiest moment of my whole life, but I want it.”

My heart slams against my chest.

“I want it with you, Sasha.” His finger wipes the one rogue tear I couldn’t hold in. “When the dust settles and the stars align, tell me you’re ready, and I’ll be waiting.”

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