Page 66 of Revive

With my hands behind my head, I stare at the ceiling, and hope Jagger can help me sort out this mess.

“She told me she was falling in love with me, and I didn’t say anything back.” The look on her face when she said those words, tears through my chest. Every night since I’ve wished I could turn back time and re do the whole conversation. I should’ve said it back, because in my heart I feel it. It’s more than like, and it’s way past lust. I was just too wrapped up in the newness of it all to realise love is what comes next.

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t nervous about Sasha and Taylah being in the same room together. It would be a lie to say I don’t love Sasha anymore. Truth is, I don’t know. I chose to keep my distance and live my life. Does that make everything else go away?

“You know what?” I get up off the couch, and walk our empty beer bottles to the kitchen. “I’m lying here on your furniture like I’m in a fucking therapist’s office when I just need to go to her place and talk to her.”

I’ve been pussyfooting around her and our issues all week, not wanting to make it worse, but if I don’t clean out the wound, it won’t heal. Opening his front door, I look back at Jagger who is watching me with mild amusement.“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, bro.”

“Tell Emerson I’m waiting for her,” he calls out.

He means his dick is. Gross.

“Just fucking sext her like a normal person.”

* * *

Standing on her porch,I knock on the fly screen waiting for her to answer. I don’t think I’ve ever stood here this long, her hands usually dragging me in before my foot has even touched the first step.

Opening the door, she doesn’t look too shocked to see me.

Fucking Jagger.

A little fragile, and a little defeated, she stares at me with the same questions she’s had all week.

“Can I come in?”

Emerson’s head pops into view. “Of course you can,” she answers for Taylah. “I was just leaving.”

They say a quick goodbye, before the screen door opens, and Em gives me a quick peck on the cheek and heads off home.

I step in, and Taylah steps back. “What are you doing here?”

Hesitant and unsure, she wraps her body with her cardigan. Crossing her arms across her chest, she adds another barrier between us.

“I came to see you.”

Again, I move forward, and she moves back. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“If you touch me, I can’t think. I won’t be able to remember why I’m mad, why I’m scared and why I’m confused.” Her shoulders are stiff, and her right leg bounces on the spot. She’s in knots and it’s all my fault. “If you touch me, I’ll crumble.”

“You haven’t let me touch you or see you in a week.” My body shrugs. “I miss you.”

The distance felt significant when we spoke on the phone during the week, but in person it feels irreparable.

“I know.” She nods. “I miss you too.”

Pushing my fingers through my hair, I pull at the tips. “Tell me what to do. I want to fix this.”

“You’re going to go home, and give me tonight.” Her voice is cool and calm, a complete one eighty from her body language. “Tomorrow, come and pick me up, and everything will be okay.”

“No,” I say strongly. “No. Things don’t get better if you ignore them. Everything you’ve been feeling won’t just magically disappear in the morning.” I school my breathing. Tapering the frustration coursing through me. “I came here to speak about it.”

“I don’t want to speak about it,” she argues.

“I’m going to speak,” I say, pointing at my chest. “I just need you to listen.”

She hugs herself tighter, and the fact that she won’t let me comfort her makes my skin unbearable to be in. “Last week when you told me you were falling in love with me, I should—”

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