Page 65 of Revive

“Dr—”

I don't hear my name, I don't see his face, I can't hear him shouting. I race at him, elbow into his stomach, I ram him back into the bed. Gripping the collar of his shirt in one fist, I pull back my arm and let his face meet the other.

I don't stop. I can't stop. And he takes every single hit.

“Are you keeping it?” I spit out, through angry tears.

“Yes.” Instinctively he tries to duck, knowing my next move, but he fails.

Arms grip me from behind, my mother’s voice breaking through. “What the fuck is going on here?”

I finally let him go, and stumble backwards into my mother’s arms. I wipe my bloodied knuckles on my shirt. “Why don't you ask Jagger?”

“Well come on, let it out. I don't have all fucking day.”

As horrible as my mother was, you never kept her waiting. Unable to look at me or her, he confesses his biggest secret, while his blood drips on my floor. “I slept with Sasha.”

Mum uses the opportunity to bask in her favourite past time; screaming at Jagger.

“You're a fucking useless piece of shit, you are. You can’t keep your damn dick in your pants.” She doesn't skimp on the insults, and for the first time in history, I let her keep going. “I said don’t be like your father, but here we are, sticking it in any hole that fits.”

“This is between me and Drix.” He stares at me, while she yells at him. A messed up version of myself looks at me, begging me for forgiveness. And I’ve got nothing to give.

“You didn’t tell her the best part,” I taunt. “They’re having a baby. You’re going to be a grandmother.”

“He better be fucking lying, Jagger.”

He hangs his head in shame. “Drix, I'm so sorry,” he cries.

“Get out of my room,” I say calmly.

He steps up beside me, “I’m not going until you forgive me.”

“Get out of my fucking face before I kill you.”

He closes the rest of the distance between him and the door. “I’m going to make this better.”

One brother beaten, and the other broken. “Don’t bother, you and I can't be fixed.”

Pullingmyself out of the painful memory, I take a long swig of my beer, grateful that’s in the past and more focused on reminding Jagger, the party will be everything him and Dakota need. It will fall into place, and she’ll hold the memory as close as the rest of the things she cares about.

“Where's Em? I thought she'd be here fussing over the decorations with you.”

“No,” he says averting his eyes, and picking at the beer label. “She’s with Taylah. Some emergency.”

“Oh.”

“I hate to point out the obvious, but shouldn’t you know that?” I take another drink, not really having any actual answers to what’s going on in my life right now.

I know I’ve hurt her, I know she’s confused, I just don’t know how to fix it. “I know what the emergency is.”

He looks at me pointedly. “Well?”

“I asked her to come tomorrow.” I stretch my arm out, place the empty beer bottle down. “And it brought up a whole bunch of shit that I didn’t even see coming.”

“Sasha?”

“The one and only.” Leaning to the right, I angle my body till I’m lying down on Jagger’s couch. “I mean, seeing Sasha tomorrow was in the back of my mind, but spending a day here without Taylah seemed wrong.”

---