Page 57 of Revive

“Yeah?” He moves closer, catching my bottom lip between his. “Mmmm. Tastes good,” he moans. Sneakily he holds up the same caramel chocolate from earlier, and pops it in his mouth. He chews loudly, making animated noises. Looking smug and satisfied, he smirks at me. “Sorry Crazy, but this tasted way better.”

* * *

Acting less like hormonal teenagers,and more like functional adults we walk through the aisles, and meet Emerson and Jagger at a handmade jewellery tent.

“Oh look,” Em teases, “You guys decided to come up for air.”

“You guys are just jealous you didn’t think of it first,” Drix retorts.

They bicker as we keep walking, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a relief that we’d all fallen into a comfortable exchange.

From the corner of my eye I notice Jagger staring at me pensively. Not sure what his problem could be I decide to walk ahead and check out some of my favourite stalls.

Expecting the figure beside me to be Hendrix, I’m surprised to see Jagger follow me.

Caught unawares and not sure what to say, I wait for him to break the silence. Bowed head, hands in pocket, he looks nervous as hell.

Surveying the wooden table in front of me, I graze my hand over the beautiful hand woven bracelets. Picking one up, I turn to face Jagger, and hand it to him. “I don’t bite, you know?”

Face to face, he takes my offering. His expression is stoic. Unreadable. A disparity to what comes out of his mouth. “I need to apologise.”

I jerk my head back in shock. “Wait, what? What for?”

He rubs his hand over his mouth repeatedly as I wait for an explanation. “Em told me what happened before we got to the café.”

“Then why—”

“Wait.” He holds his hand up in protest. “I need to get this out. I know you apologised to Em, and that’s between you and her, but I should havenevermade you feel like that in the first place.”

“Jagger. Stop.” I place my hand over the hand that still holds the bracelet. “Please don’t ever feel like you have to apologise for wanting to protect your brother.”

“It’s just.” He arches his neck back, and takes a huge breath of air, clearly trying to compose himself. Eyes like Hendrix’s look back down at me. A little older. A little more worn down. “There have been a lot of times in his life where he needed protecting, and I wasn’t there. So now I overcompensate. Sometimes I’m rude and overbearing, but I promise my heart is in the right place.”

His vulnerability chips away at the anger I held towards him for questioning our choices. I realise I can empathise with every shit turn their lives has taken, but I’ll never really understand the after effects. I will never know what it’s like to love and disappoint someone in the same breath, or be away from your family for so long, you’ve missed a lifetime. I will never know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that pain, and what it takes to learn to live with it.

And for that, I’m the one who should be apologising.

“Jagger, please let me say something.”

“No,” he says adamantly. “I know what you’re going to say and it isn’t necessary, because he’s so fucking happy, and that’s all you.”

“No pressure. No expectation. No hard feelings if it just doesn’t work out. Just a thank you.” He tries to hand me back the bracelet “You’ve taken good care of him.”

I push the plaited fabric back into his hand. “That’s where you have it all wrong. He doesn’t need to be taken care off. He just needs to be set free.”

Giving me a small nod, he swallows the lump in his throat, and looks down at the handmade jewellery.

“Oh.” I clear my throat, getting rid of my emotions. That’s for Em. Buy it for her, she’ll love it.

* * *

Keepingup with rituals I promise to text Em when I get home. Drix drives me and my car back to my place, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Me thinking about what Jagger said, him wondering what Jagger said. I feel overwhelmed with things I want to say and things I know I shouldn’t.

Standing at the front door, strong arms wrap around me, cocooning me in. His mouth below my ear. “Are you going to tell me what you two spoke about?”

Giving him better access, I tilt my head, and unlock the door. “Let’s go lay in bed.”

“It's three o'clock in the afternoon.” Refusing to let me go, we walk inside, attached to one another.

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