Page 38 of Revive

Her words sting. The truth usually does. So, I defer and get back to the original conversation starter. “Where are we going?”

“Yay.” Stacey claps excitedly. “What if we all go home and change? Dinner first? Make a night of it?”

“Fine with me. Evan?” I tip my head in his direction. It’s more of a plea than a question.

“Yeah of course, but, I’m going to bring Kat.”

“I’ll bring Chris,” Stacey adds.

Great. Now I’m fifth wheeling it.“I’m going to get going,” I announce. “Text me with the time and place, and I’ll see you both later.”

Now that it’s all set in stone, and Evan and Stacey got their way, we don’t bother with goodbyes. The thirty-degree day is enough to hurry us along.

Driving home, Stacey’s words play on repeat. They merge with the last two weeks of flirting between Taylah and I. After dinner, she tried avoiding me for a few days. I wish I knew why, but my gut says it was the Sasha reminder. She responds to my texts, but she flat out refuses to see me.

Eventually, the whole putting other people first will end up in me being old and alone. I remember how I felt in Taylah’s presence. Light and casual, and I remind myself I have to start chasing what I want. I can’t be living in a self-imposed exile from life because I’m standing on the outskirts, too busy waiting for something extraordinary to happen instead of finding it, grabbing it and making it mine.

At the next red light, I grab my phone out of the cup holder beside me and find her number. Without second guessing myself, I tap the screen and call her.

The rings keep going and the adrenaline starts to leave through every available exit. Trying not to focus on what pursuing this means, or the fact that she’s hell-bent on ignoring how good dinner together was.

“Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.” I check the dashboard clock, maybe she’s still working? The naive, untainted part of my brain believes if she answers then I’m on the right track. That there’s hope I won’t be stuck on this crazy merry-go-round of my past dictating my future, maybe there’s still time to change my old and lonely status.

“One second,” she answers, but the unexpected greeting throws me off. She comes back, her breathing a little heavier. “Hello?”

“Uh, hey. Taylah, it’s m—”

“I know who it is, Sexy, I’ve been texting this number for two weeks.” She clicks her tongue. “I’ve just been too busy to answer your calls.”

“Sassy, as always, I see.”

“Don’t act like you would want it any other way.” I hear her smile, my memory sketching up the way her lips twist to the side whenever she’s being mouthy. It makes me want to see her even more.

“Look, I called to see if you wanted to come out with me tonight? I really want to see you again.”

“Like a date?”

“Well.” I drag out the word, longer than intended, trying to buy time to answer her question. “It's a work thing. A few other people will be there.”

“God, Sexy, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.”

Silently, I hit the heel of my palm on my forehead, repeatedly, while the awkwardness progressively gets worse.“Come on, Crazy.” I use my nickname for her, hoping to salvage the conversation and the outcome of tonight. “I’m trying, aren’t I? Which is more than I can say for you. I keep trying to call and you keep trying to avoid me.”

“I just had some things I needed to think through,” she admits. “Trying to play it cool. Not wanting to seem too eager.”

“Taylah,” I say her name with a chuckle. “You propositioned me for sex the first time we met.”

“Actually, it was the second, and I’m kidding.” Her voice becomes softer, the earnest loud and clear. “I was just waiting for the timing to be right.”

I don’t press her for answers. With Taylah, I know they’ll always come, I just have to respect her timing. “So, you think I can pick you up in an hour?”

“How about I meet you there, and if you’re lucky you can drive me home.”

“Crazy,” I say, irritated. “Let me pick you up.”

“You said this wasn’t a date,” she reminds me.

“No, that’s not what I said.”

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