Page 35 of Revive

“Dakota okay?” she asks, giving in to curiosity.

“She wanted to make sure I was going to make it to her soccer game tomorrow.”

“She plays soccer?”

“She does every extracurricular activity her school has.” I beam with pride at the beautiful young woman she’s growing up to be.

“Do you always watch her?”

I nod, because it’s the truth. Anything she has ever needed I’ve made sure she has.

“You treat her as if she’s your own.” It’s an observation. One that scratches the surface of my deepest secrets. One that needs no confirmation from me. “You’re a good man Drix,”

Unable to meet her eyes, I look down at the table. “I try.”

10

Sasha

With our picnic chairs set up along the sideline, Dakota’s biggest fans, Jagger, Emerson, Hendrix, and I are here cheering her and her team on, hoping they win this game, and make it to the quarterfinals.

Seated in a row, Jagger and Emerson sit in between Hendrix and I; playing as our usual buffers. We used to be able to co-exist, but lately being around him is everything my masochistic heart wants. Every time we’re together, it’s just another layer being ripped off, exposing what I’ve been trying to keep hidden for years.

I feel like a balloon. Each year that’s passed I fill myself up with shame, humiliation, and disappointment, but now I’ve finally reached the part where the balloon can’t hold it together anymore. And I’m so close to bursting.

The halftime whistle blows, the score nil all, and a bunch of fifteen and sixteen-year-old girls ready to rip each other apart. For such a non-contact sport the mood and undertone is ruthless.

Jagger and Hendrix huddle with the team, pretending they know anything about soccer when really they just like to scare all the other parents from falling in the trap of sideline coaching.

“Want some?” Emerson offers me some dried apples, and I turn my nose up at them in disgust.

“I really don’t know how you eat those. The texture in your mouth is gross.”

“They’re not that bad,” she argues. “And they’re so healthy.”

“Please, just eat unhealthy shit like the rest of us.”

We laugh with ease, a friendship I never thought I would want, yet somehow, I cherish dearly. So caught up in my own bubble I didn’t know I needed an outsider. Someone who I don’t have a history with, someone I can start fresh with. Someone who isn’t afraid to hurt my feelings when I need to get the fuck out of my own head.

We both watch Jagger and Drix walk side by side across the field. Guaranteed our thoughts are very different, but we get caught up in their presence all the same.

“Can I ask you something about Hendrix?”

“I don’t know how helpful I’ll be, but my ears work just fine.”

“Is he with your friend Taylah?”

She uncrosses her legs, only to cross them again. “The truth?”

“Please.”

“I don’t know if there’s anything going onrightnow.” She turns her head to face me, her expression unreadable as her sunglasses cover her eyes. “But there’s a very high possibility that something may happen between them in the future.”

“Why am I even surprised?” I murmur to myself “He’s a catch, any sane woman would jump through hoops to have him.”

“So are you insane?”

“Huh?”

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