Page 65 of Reclaim

“Emerson told me it would work.”

“This was Emerson’s idea?”

“Not specifically, but I told her you didn’t smile anymore, and she told me to remind you of things that make you happy.”

“Come here.” Dakota wraps her arms around my torso and my arms circle her shoulders. I kiss the top of her head. “She always knows, doesn’t she? I love you, Dakota.”

“Love you, Dad.”

“So, we going to get out girl or what?” Taylah cheers.

“Firstly, she’s my girl. Secondly,” I put my hands over Dakota’s ears and talk over her head, “as long as you have an exit plan the minute my lips touch hers, we’re good, yeah?”

The four of us are now smiling like lunatics.

I’m finally seeing that I can have a future with Em, and what’s more, I want it badly enough to fight for it as long and as hard as I have to. “Let’s go getmy girl.”

* * *

As soon aswe arrived outside her apartment, I told everyone I didn’t want them to come upstairs.

“Okay, change of plans,” I announce. “I’m going by myself.”

Taylah wrinkles her nose. “So, we all just hang here and wait?”

“Well, you guys discuss that. I’ll call you later.” I leave their innocent bickering behind and make my way up to Emerson. A quick rap of my knuckles on the door is followed by Emerson’s voice travelling through the house.

“Who is it?”

Choosing not to answer, I wait till the door swings open. I’m not sure what I was expecting to see, but her expressionless face has me in a panic.

“Jagger, is everything okay?”

Her black lounge pants hang off her hips, and her white ribbed singlet is snug over every angle and curve.

“Yeah. I just wanted to see you, but I can go and come back another time.”

“No, you’re here. Please come in.”

The exchange is awkward and foreign, but I decide to soldier on, knowing it can’t be any worse than it already is.

“Do you want some tea or coffee? Water?”

“I just want you back,” I blurt out.

She stops mid walk and stands still. She doesn’t turn around, and she doesn’t respond. So, I keep talking.

“For the first half of my life, I was reminded on the regular how much of a fuck up I was. For the second half, I lived where fuck ups live. And now, I’m been walking around on new ground, with new rules, new expectations, but the old me hasn’t caught up with the change.”

I run my hands over my face in frustration; it’s disconcerting talking to her back and unable to see her response to my words. “I was used to not allowing myself good things, because I didn’t deserve them. But then you came along, and you didn’t care. You didn’t care who I was, what I did, or where I was going. You loved me, and better yet, you let me love you.”

I take a few steps closer, the distance becoming unbearable.

“You were right. It wasn’t about saving me, but it was about showing me the realm of possibilities once I let myself believe I was worthy. You did that. I found love on your lips, and fuck if I didn’t find freedom in your body. Each and every day you loosened my self imposed shackles just a little bit more. Because of you, I was given a second chance at life, and it was better than I ever expected. I’m asking for a second chance with you, because I know this time I’m going to do it right. I’m going to love you till the world ends and then some.”

My voice cracks with a wave of emotion. “Emerson Lane, come back to me.”

Epilogue