Page 36 of Reclaim

“Is she okay?”

“Sasha said she will be, but I’m concocting worst case scenarios in my head.”

“Any idea what it’s about?”

“Safe to say the kids are giving her shit about me being in jail.”

He shakes his head and sighs, “Some kids are so compassionate, and others are fucking ruthless.”

“High school hasn’t changed then,” I sneer. “That night Dakota mentioned it, I told Sasha we needed to talk. She wasn’t keen, but now that she’s reached out, I’m packing shit.”

“Do you want me to give you guys space?” He offers.

“This is your house, Drix, and you’re family.”

“It’s our house,” he says sternly. “And you and I don’t need to rehash things. We took care of that already.”

“It’s never going to feel like enough. No matter how many explanations I give, or how many apologies I hand out, this dead weight follows me around everywhere,” I confess.

“You haven’t done this part yet. Maybe talking to them together will help.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

* * *

The door flies open,surprising Hendrix and me. Dakota races in, and I stand. She launches herself at me.I manage to catch her just in time.

“Woah.” I kiss the top of her head. “It’s good to see you too.” My eyes land on Sasha and the way she’s watching Dakota and me it dawns on me this is the first time she’s seen us together. Hendrix is usually the middle man. “Want to sit down, and tell me what’s going on?” Dakota releases my torso enough that we can shuffle towards the couch arm in arm.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m just going to be in my room if anyone needs me,” Hendrix announces. I nod at him and get back to the situation at hand.

“Dakota, babe. Your dad wanted to talk to us about a few things. I figured tonight would be a good time for you to tell him about whatever’s bothering you at school.”

“I told you, I don’t want to,” she persists.

“Why not?” I interject.

She turns her body to face me, and her eyes timidly rise to meet mine. “I told mum I could handle it.”

“But we don’t want you to have to handle anything, especially on your own,” I explain.

“What did you want to talk to us about?” She asks, changing the subject.

“I’ll only talk if you do,” I bargain.

“Fine.” She isn’t impressed, but Sasha and I share a small smile. A simple victory.

“What are the kids at school saying?” her mum presses.

“It’s the same stuff like last time. Calling dad names.” She lowers her head, hiding her eyes from us, and I know whatever she says next is the issue, the reason behind her pain.

I rub her back in encouragement. “Just get it all out.”

“They call me names for shooting myself.” She straightens up defiantly. “I was only three, it was an accident.”

“Do me a favour. Sit next to your mum.” Sasha opens her arms on the opposite couch and Dakota crawls into her lap, her age irrelevant to the comfort she seeks. “Parents are supposed to take care of their kids. Protect them. Keep them safe. I didn’t do that.” I run my fingers through my hair, scratching at my scalp in desperation. There’s no easy way to say you’re the worlds biggest fuck up. “I failed in more ways than one. My mistakes had big consequences. Dangerous and life-changing consequences. Nothing those kids say about me is stuff I don’t already know.” Shifting off the couch, I take the few steps between the two pieces of furniture and crouch down in front of Dakota. “Your heart is huge, because you should be mad at me and think the things those kids do. I’ve missed twelve years of your life. I haven’t contributed to the wonderful young girl you are, and I don’t deserve for you to call me dad, but you do. With no fucking hesitation you love me more than I deserve.” I reach for her hand, clasping it in mine. “And just like those kids, I can’t figure out why.” My body could sink into the floor from the emotional exhaustion, but I stay put and listen to every revered word to come out of my daughters mouth.

“So, we learnt about where babies come from one year,” she starts. “And this rumour went around at school about this girl getting an abortion.”

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