Page 26 of Reclaim

“What I meant is we should go out some time.”

“Like in a group, with other people from work?” I suggest.

“I guess.” His face reddens, embarrassment spreading like wildfire. “I was thinking more me and you.”

“We can barely tolerate each other.” I’ve never seen this side of Joe, and I want to punch myself in the face for having empathy towards him right now.

“I’m guessing the last seven weeks didn’t help?”

I shake my head, unable to say anything else.

“Let’s blame this on the alcohol and forget it ever happened, yeah?”

“Sure. I candefinitelydo that.”

For the last time I press the ground floor button, and beg for the doors to close faster. After Joe disappears from my view, I lean on the back wall and pull out my phone to text Taylah.

What the fuck just happened?

9

Jagger

The pounding of my feet against the footpath begins to slow down as Hendrix’s house comes into view. Unable to break routine, I find myself looking forward to the silence every morning.

It’s only been two weeks since I’ve come home, but there are days when I wake up in a cold sweat, my chest tight, and my mind consumed by the doubts of not living up to everyone’s expectations.

Things move at lightning speed around me--everyone has somewhere to be, and they’re usually rushing around to be there. I try to keep up, but it’s also difficult when your life is stagnant and there’s no need for you to race around like everyone else. It’s been two weeks, and my days feel and look exactly the same as they were on the inside. Eat, sleep, exercise. And not necessarily in that order.

The loneliness is unnerving. My family is around me, but the disconnect is noticeable. I see them trying. Too hard in fact, but I grin and bear it, because I don’t want to seem ungrateful. Dakota and Hendrix have effortlessly accepted me into their lives, my time spent with them the highlight of every day.

But there’s still the elephant in the room--unanswered questions and unspoken confessions. And I’m not ready to stain the pure elation I feel at being able to see their faces whenever I want.

Unlocking the front door, it’s no surprise to see Hendrix sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar, scooping cereal into his mouth like it’s his last meal.

“Morning,” I call out. He looks up and tips his chin in my direction.

Drix isn’t a morning person, so I’m used to the silence that ensues when I come back from my run. Once his stomach is satisfied, it doesn’t take too long for him to snap out of it and join the rest of the world.

“Do you want to come to work with me today?” he asks unexpectedly. I don’t want to go with him. There are a lot of hang ups about myself I didn’t have before, now everything I do comes with an unwelcome emotion, as if life’s sole purpose is to fuck around with my insecurities.

“I was going to stay here and keep applying for jobs.”

“You can do that at the office. There’s everything you need there.” Walking over to the sink, he rinses out his bowl and stacks it in the dishwasher. “It’s going to be a quiet day, and I thought you’d like to see what I do.”

Disappointing him isn’t an option.

Begrudgingly, I head for the bathroom and step into the shower. As the hot water scalds my skin, I wrap a fist around my hard cock and stroke myself to the image of a brunette beauty that has the power to erase it all. The anxiety leaves my body, as water washes off my release. By the time I get out, the tension returns, and just like the kiss with Emerson, relief is also too fleeting.

The drive to his office only takes half an hour. Parking outside a white cement rendered building I notice the PCYC signage has remained the same since I was a kid. Knowing not everything has changed while I was away offers the smallest amount of relief. Surrounded by a large grass area, the PCYC is there to provide a home away from home. There are offices for the youth workers, a canteen to provide food, and a place that offers a sense of community for those who need it.

“Everyone is pretty laid back here,” he announces. “There will be a few young people coming in and out of my office, but they shouldn’t be a problem.”

“And you just want me to sit there with you?”

“You’ll have access to any computer in the room, and if you need me, I’m right there.”

“Won’t that be distracting?”

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