Page 24 of Reclaim

“It doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me about it.”

“I think Joe was right,” I blurt out.

“Geez, this is more serious than I thought if you’re giving dickweed some credit.”

“He said I was too invested in Jagger and his case, and I was… I am.”

“Hold up,” she interrupts. “Nobody in our office is as passionate as you are about this job. Of course you’re bloody invested.”

“Tay.” I stop her before she goes off on a tangent defending my honour. “We kissed.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m assuming it wasn’t while he was inside?”

“Release Day.”

“Okay, well you’re probably never going to see him again, so don’t worry.” Unknowingly she hits the nail on the head, dismissing the very reason I’ve been sitting in my house wallowing for the last few days.

When I first laid eyes on him, there was no denying he was attractive. But it was his determination to wear his pain like a tattoo that had me intrigued. It was a cloak of shame that he used as a deterrent but all it did was pull me in.

I’d visited Goulburn numerous times, met different inmates, and facilitated release plans for people much less deserving than Jagger. And when he challenged Joe for putting his hands on me; someone he didn’t even know, his secret was out. It didn’t matter how imperfect he thought he was, his actions spoke louder than the mistakes that he let define him.

“Oh my god, look at your face.” Taylah screams. “You like this guy. Like, like him, like him.”

My cheeks flare in embarrassment, but I don’t bother hiding it from her. The sooner we talk about it, the quicker I can get over this pointless crush. “Well, I don’t usually make a habit of kissing people I don’t like.”

“Tell me how it was.”

“No, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m never going to see him again. I spent the week savouring it, and now I’m ready to let it go.”

I can lie all I want, but the truth is Jagger Michaels seared himself into my memory. The kiss was the icing on the cake, and I never wanted it to end. His lips, his proximity, the way he owned his vulnerability and his strength. Holding his daughter and letting their pain run wild, he entered the prison a kid, and I had the pleasure of watching him leave as a man.

“Are you though?”

“Am I what?”

“Ready to let it go?”

I run a hand over my forehead and let my head fall in resignation. “I don’t really have a choice.”

* * *

Cleaning up my desk,I file all the day’s paperwork and write up my list of things to do for tomorrow. Arriving at work today, I dealt with an influx of emails and voicemail messages that needed to be responded to.

I included Jagger’s file in my clean-up, deciding it was a good time to close that door. There are plenty of moments in my life that didn’t eventuate into anything, yet the memory was significant all the same. I’ve accepted my time with Jagger is exactly that.

It’s six pm, and my desk phone rings, startling me. I ignore it, because anything past five can wait till tomorrow. The call ends, only to start up again.

“Hello,” I huff.

“Emerson honey, is that you?” My mum’s voice comes through, surprising me.

“Mum, why are you calling me at work?”

“If you answered your mobile we wouldn’t have to,” my dad intercepts.

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