Page 12 of Reclaim

“Dude, you’re new here. I don’t even know you that well,” I joke.

“Quit playing. They’re waiting on you.”

I stand against the wall and let the awkward pat down begin. “Okay, you’re all good. Just let the guard out there know when time is up, and someone will walk you back in.”

I run both my hands over my face. My instincts tell me it’s Hendrix, and I don’t think anything could prepare me for this. I awkwardly straighten out my prison greens before walking into the open space.

“Don’t bother, son. The way you wear your clothes doesn’t change that they’re out there and you’re in here.” His words pour all over me like a cold bucket of iced water. Positivity is like gold in here--it’s a rarity.

The door opens, and I stand there paralysed with anxiety. I keep my head down, not ready for the assault of emotions to wash over me. “Come on Michaels, I got to get back.”

I catch a glimpse of the top of his head, glad that I’ve noticed him first. With each step, my feet drag. Shame, fear, embarrassment; each feeling wraps around my ankles like sandbags.

He rises at the exact moment I reach the table. We both silently stare at each other as twelve years of shock and sorrow fade away. I thought I would want to break. To crumble and walk back inside like the coward I am, but the sense of reprieve at seeing him here in front of me overshadows years of silence and bitterness.

I see him, and I see the plans we had to grow up and spread our wings, before my actions clipped us both. I see the brother who never hesitated to have my back, no matter what fucked up things I did. And I fucked up. Epically. Ruining all their lives, and leaving him alone to pick up my mess.

His heart must bleed forgiveness, because he doesn’t even hesitate to grab my shoulder and pull me in for a hug. I squeeze my eyes shut, and keep the tears at bay. Grateful and proud to call him my brother and have him on my side.

“I fucking missed you, bro.” His voice is muffled, his breathing a staccato of sadness, regret, and hope. Hugging him back, I let the memories of two young kids running amok flood through me. A time where everything was simple, and the future was ours for the taking.

We pull apart, and I wonder what life would be like without a brother like Drix. “You look good, bro.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” he jokes.

I gesture to the table beside us, and we take our seats opposite one another. I’m stunned into silence this day has actually come. When I first stepped foot in here I made it clear no visitors allowed. I would pay penance for my mistakes, and I wouldn’t put anyone I loved in anymore pain.

“I can’t believe you’re getting out of here in five weeks,” he blurts out. “The years were slow, man. So fucking slow.”

I give a tired smile, knowing very well what he means.

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“”Let me,” I interject. “I have a lot of explaining to do and a lot of apologies to make, but I need you all to hear it at the same time. Especially Dakota.” I press the palms of my hands to my eyes and try to quell the regret that chokes me from the inside out. “I owe her the fucking world, Drix.”

“You’ll get to make it right, Jagger.” He grabs my wrists and pulls my hands away from my face. “I had a photo to bring you, but they didn’t let me bring it in. She’s an amazing young girl, and I know she’s desperate to see you.”

“Do you think Sasha’s going to let me see her?”

“I really don’t know. Emerson asked me the exact same thing.”

“Emerson? The solicitor? You spoke to her?”

“We met up for a coffee near her office.”

The slightest pang of jealousy washes through me at his ability to have access to her freely.

“Relax, I’m not gonna try and hit on your girl,” he teases, reminding me that all the time in the world could pass and he still knows me better than anyone else.

“Please, someone like her is never gonna want to be my girl.”

“Don’t kid yourself bro, her face lit up every time I said your name.”

“Nice, but irrelevant. That’s not my priority when I get out of here.”

“Of course, because twelve years wasn’t enough, a life of celibacy outside of jail will be necessary too.”

“Shut up, fuckwit. Just tell me what you asked her and what she said.”

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