Page 3 of Tattered Edges

Then, of course, there was the matter of my name—a name given to me so intentionally, I felt the weight of it my entire life.

My mother was a narcissist, but she gave meSawyerfor a reason, and I couldn’t overlook that.

“It’s not crazy,” said Diane, extracting me from my reverie. I quirked an eyebrow at her. She grimaced playfully and amended, “Okay, maybe it is alittle.But whether or not you’ll live to regret it is irrelevant. I’ve known you long enough to be sure, you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t go.”

She was right. Going was the only choice I could live with.

That didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous.

“I’m not going to fail, right?” I blurted, needing to expel the doubt. “I’m not a loser aimlessly wandering through life destined to be a disappointment?”

“Wow. Okay,Maeve.That was a leap,” Diane replied with a frown.

I drew in a deep breath and nodded as I blew it out. I’d earned that.

“Real talk?” she went on to say. “You are a lot of things, Sawyer, but a failure isn’t one of them. If you want to find success over there, you will. It’s only a matter of if you want to.”

Her comment was as encouraging as the truth would let it be. I understood what she meant. She knew me, better than anyone. She understood the reason I could drop everything and move to another country was because I didn’t have much to drop. I didn’t have a career I’d been chasing. I didn’t have a dream that propelled me. Since I left Berkley, I’d been a waitress, a library assistant, then a receptionist, aimlessly jumping from one job to the next. I might have been a little lost, but I worked hard to make ends meet.

The happiest I’d ever been was when I was working as a professor’s assistant while in the graduate program at Stanford—but I didn’t think teaching was my calling; so, when I was finished, I convinced Diane I wasn’t overqualified to fill the vacancy she had at her gallery. It paid the bills, most of the time. When I needed a little extra, if I felt desperate enough, I’d dip into my mother’s royalties. They were mine now, technically, and I could live off of them if I wanted—but I didn’t.

“Listen—don’t overthink it. It’s too late for that now,” Diane teased. “You are the smartest woman I know. Not to mention beautiful and courageous and fun. Whatever happens, you’re going to make the best of it. You always do. While the gallery will not be the same without you, I’m so proud of you for not allowing yourself to get stuck there.”

“Stuck? Diane, I love your gallery. I wasn’t—”

“You loveme.But the gallery is my dream, not yours, and we both know it. Life has seen fit to hand you this grand adventure. It seems only right that you give London a shot. Besides,yourunning a bookstore? Literature has always been your destiny.”

I nodded, absorbing her encouragement. “I do have a thing for great literature.”

She shrugged knowingly. “Turns out, it’s in your DNA.”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

She then furrowed her brow and said, “All that aside, our long-standing friendship also compels me to say, I love you dearly. I’m going to miss you so much. But I’m an only child, and I’m selfish, and you were mine first. I know you have a half brother and sister over there, and it would actually be incredible if the family you deserve has been out there this whole time, waiting to love you—but don’t forget Brady and I have first dibs, even though we’re notactuallyrelated.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

She was right. Sawyer Blackstone was kind of a package deal. He had a family. A family I belonged to. It was a strange reality. So strange, in fact, it didn’t feel real. I thought maybe it would when I finally met them. My brother and sister. My stepmother. I had an aunt, too. It was a lot to think about. Maybe a little too much. I’d been tiptoeing around it in my mind for the last several weeks.

The dead dad bit had taken precedence.

Whoever the Blackstones were, I was still a Nielsen. Diane and Brady might not have been my blood relatives, but until recently, they were the only family I had left in the world.

I reached out my hands, and she was quick to grab them. As she squeezed my fingers, I felt the tingle of approaching tears in my nose.

“I’m going to miss you, too. So much.”

Her face relaxed as she smiled at me. “All jokes aside, I am excited for you.”

“Thanks,” I sniffled.

“Okay, enough of this. We’re not saying goodbye yet! We’re supposed to be going out for drinks. This is my last chance to buy you a martini at our favorite bar, and I will not be denied.”

“Right.” I swiped my fingers across my cheeks, wiping away my tears, and immediately began searching the room for my purse. “You know, youcouldalways come visit me and let me take you to my favorite pub. Once I have one, of course.”

“Find that pub, and I’m there.”

I spotted my purse and grabbed it, looping the straps over my shoulder as I smiled at my friend. “Deal.”

---