Page 85 of Passed Ball

But I don't, because that is a surefire way to end this thing here and now, and I'm not ready for that. So I give her what I can: the best make-out session of her life. Kissing her until our lips are raw and Holland's cries blare through the monitor.

Chapter 38

Vivienne

Dinner was amazing, but watching Xavier confidently maneuver around his kitchen while I snuggled Holland was even better. Add in the "Kiss the Cook" apron he proudly wore--a birthday gift from Dom last year--and it's been the perfect night.

"You know what wasn't on my bingo card this year?" I ask, setting my fork on the empty plate, my stir-fry gone. My lips tingle with the memory of our steamy make out session when I dab them with the napkin, adding that to the plate as well.

"Earth-shattering orgasms from a ridiculously handsome catcher?" Xavier flashes me a sly grin.

"That too," I admit. "But I was going to say having someone who has made it their sole purpose in life to ensure I'm fed."

He shifts Holland in one arm, balancing the baby like a pro while grabbing the plates with the other. It's an oddly perfect picture.

"Is having someone take care of you for once really so bad?" he asks.

Reflexively I stand, pushing my stool back and rounding the island to take the plates from him. "I can help."

"You can," he says, spinning out of reach and depositing the plates in the sink, "but you're not going to."

"Why not?"

"Believe it or not, I like taking care of you, Vivienne." He taps the sink, letting water rinse away the remnants of our dinner. "Your job is literally to care for other people--for the community. Before that, years of your life were dedicated to caring for your family. Someone has to take care of you."

Guilt twists my stomach, threatening to make my dinner reappear. "I love my job. I love my family," I assert because both things are true. I chose this career, and all I wanted was a voice in the family when the role of caretaker for everyone else became too much.

"I know you do," he says, his voice soft. "But I spent so much of my life with no one to care for and no one to care for me. Let me take care of you." He glances down at the dishes, turns off the water with a tap, and adds quietly, "At least for a while."

The impact of those last five words has a wave of dread crashing over me with the stark reminder that this will end.

I huff out an annoyed sigh, going back on to the stool and rolling my eyes. "What if I want to help?" The tone is my voice is borderline petulant, but at least I'm using it.

Xavier's gaze lifts slowly. "Do you want to help, or do you feel like you should?"

I bite my lip nodding. "I hate sitting here being useless. The problem was never that I didn't want to contribute or help my family. I only wanted a say."

He nods taking that in. "You can help. Just tell me what you want to do."

"I can get Holland ready for bed."

He stills in front of the sink, like that wasn't what he was expecting. "I'll be in to join you in a minute. I don't want to miss putting her down, but why don't you get her changed?"

This time, when I round the counter, I don't stop until I'm right in front of him, taking the adorable, babbling baby from his arm. Holland reaches up, pulling on my hair and Xavier, soapy hands and all, works to free it from her grip.

"Damn, she's strong," he says when he struggles to pry open her tiny fingers.

"Good genetics." I eye his long, muscular frame for a minute until Holland squirms in my arms and I pull myself away. The sooner we get this little lady down the sooner I can get my hands on her dad's muscles.

I glance over my shoulder and catch Xavier watching us as I leave the kitchen, heading towards Holland's room.

"Let's go, Estrela. Time for you to get ready for bed," I say.

In her room, I lay her on the changing table, and in no time, she's in a fresh diaper and a soft sleeper decorated with little stars. It seems fitting after the day we had together. Waiting on Xavier, I settle into the plush rocker in the corner. Cradling Holland close, I begin humming the familiar melody ofBrilha, Brilha, Estrelinha.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

"Brilha, brilha, estrelinha, quero ver-te bem brilhar. Lá no alto, a cintilar, parece um diamante a brilhar. Brilha, brilha, estrelinha, quero ver-te bem brilhar."

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