Page 58 of Passed Ball

We pass the time in our seats talking about the upcoming Fourth of July holiday. When the girls find out I don't have plans, they don't quit until I've agreed to spend the day with them watching the game and lounging in Dom and Indie's pool. The crowd begins to thin and we all head to the family waiting area together.

While everyone else lounges on the couch, looking completely at home, I pace the length of the room.

"You're making me dizzy. Sit down," Indie says from the opposite end of the couch.

I shouldn't be here.

Tenley laughs. "If you don't belong here, I'm definitely out of place."

"It's not the same and you know it." I twirl a lock of hair around my finger, studying it. "You're his nanny and you four are all wives and girlfriends."

"Fiancé," Poppy reminds me cheerfully.

"Right, that's what I mean. I'm nothing."

"Do you want to be here?" Mia asks without judgment.

"Yes," I say on a shaky breath, my feet stopping.

"Then you belong here," Lilah says, like it's the simplest thing in the world. It's said with such earnestness that I believe her without question.

Chapter 26

Xavier

When you experience as much pain and ugliness as I did after my mom died, you know true beauty when you see it. Vivienne waiting for me outside the locker room, with my daughter in her arms, isn't just another pretty sight, it's breathtaking.

This woman, who barely knows Holland, and has no real ties to her, is holding her like she's a treasured gift. Her green eyes are soft as she whispers calming words. It's such a startling contrast to Holland's own mother.

I can't make Kristy want to be a part of her daughter's life. Choosing not to be a parent is a valid choice, but I want a clean break for Holland and I.

Still, it guts me because I'm all too aware that there is no erasing the pain it will someday cause Holland. It's been over twenty years, and I'm only starting to heal from my childhood with the help of Edward, Holland, Tenley, Vivi, and my teammates. Dread consumes me any time I think about the unknown and navigating that conversation with my daughter gracefully when the time comes.

I stand back, watching Vivi dote on Holland. It tickles something in the back of my brain. It might be the leftover emotions from the shock of them being here. Or maybe it's bigger than that. Tonight has been special, and it wouldn't have been if not for Vivi. Seeing my daughter wearing my jersey for the first time, and having her here, surrounded by people who love her, healed a damaged part of me.

"There we go," Tenley says, standing from where she's crouched over the diaper bag at Vivi's feet, screwing a lid on a bottle. Her attention catches on me, leaning against the door frame, watching this all unfold quietly, but she quickly refocuses on Holland and Vivi.

Her aunt smiles warmly at her, reaching out for the bottle. "I've got it. You hogged her for most of the game."

With all the dramatic flare I've come to expect, my nanny rolls her eyes. Beneath all the sass, there's a sparkle when she releases her hold on the bottle. "That's a boldfaced lie. Are you trying to take my job from me?"

"Nope, my nanny days are behind me, but she's so perfect and I just need a little hit."

Stepping forward, I speak up. "That's what they all say. Next thing you know, you're a junkie, pressing your nose to her head every chance you get." I say it like I'm joking, but there's nothing I wouldn't do for a whiff of that soft smell that clings to Holland.

Vivienne's eyes lift, surprised to find me there, her gaze tracking over the length of me, making me stand a little taller. I'm still in my baseball pants and a form-fitting undershirt. Judging by the way she drags her teeth over her glossed lips, the look does something for her.

Most of the makeup she wears to work is missing, but she looks even prettier with only a touch of mascara and a shine to her plump lips. She's dressed down too, in a pair of leggings and a tank top that molds to her curves.

A throat clears next to me. Tenley watches us with a half smirk.Busted.

I run a hand through my hair, pulling my focus from her aunt.

For the past month, Tenley's sole focus has been taking care of my daughter. While she's well compensated and all signs point to her loving the job, it's a lot for anyone, but especially a nineteen-year-old who must miss having a social life.

"So . . . I've got to do press." I rub my palm over my day-old stubble. Murphy pulled me aside before I hit the shower to let me know I was needed for the postgame wrap-up--something they've let me skip for most of the season.

Starting tonight isn't ideal; I had other plans for after the game. One that involved mapping out every inch of Vivienne's body.

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