Page 23 of Passed Ball

Work with the Bandits aside, Tenley watching Holland means that we'll probably be bumping into each other more. So, instead of letting the stifling silence continue, I break it. "Are you excited about having a night out? I imagine those have been scarce."

His knuckles flash white as he flexes his fingers around the steering wheel. "Not in the slightest."

"Oh." I'm not really sure how to process that. The Xavier I first met was cocky--arrogant, even. The second time I saw him, he was beyond flustered. Tonight, he's vacillating in-between--going from teasing to shy. All of those versions of him are true, but I don't think any of them arereallyhim, and I wonder what he's like when he's able to relax and just be himself.

"I hate leaving Holland behind when I already spend so much time away from her during the season." His eyes shift from the road to me. "Sorry. I know this night means a lot to Double Play, and to you, but they'd raise as much money without me."

We would and the baseball season is long. He's going to miss a lot.

From what Dean has said, Xavier is Holland's primary parent. It's none of my business, but now that Tenley's involved, I can't help my curiosity. Or at least, that's how I justify why I care. "This shouldn't all be on you. What about her mom?"

"Not in the picture at the moment." His words are sharp, bitten off like they taste sour.

The hardened tone catches me off guard. I've never seen him mad like this. The pain in his voice is pointed and new questions ricochet through my head.At the moment? How much more is he facing that I'm not aware of?

It's humbling and the regrets about how I've reacted to him in the past are immediate. So I say the one thing he probably wants to hear more than an overdueI'm sorry."If you want to leave early, I can catch an Uber home."

"Nah. I should stay. It'll make Murphy happy, and it gives Holland time to get used to Tenley." He sighs, then adds, "Besides, my friends have been hounding me to take time for myself. Hopefully tonight will shut them up."

"Being the only parent isn't easy. And they say you can't pour from an empty cup." Vulnerability clogs my throat because I might not know what Xavier is dealing with, but I think I know how he feels. I've always struggled with balance. It's why Tenley keeps trying to get me to date and make more friends.

"Technically, I'm not."

"Not what?" I ask, confused by my drifting thoughts.

"The only parent." He sighs. "Kristy, Holland's mom, left, and I don't know if she plans to come back. But you're wrong about the empty cup. Holland fills my cup, baseball fills my cup, my friends fill my cup. My cup is full."

That pulls my focus back inside the car. I watched my three older brothers manage life as single parents, all for different reasons, so I know a thing or two about how much dedication it takes to do it well. "That might be the most sincere thing I've ever heard you say."

He laughs. "Well, you don't think very highly of me, so I'm not surprised."

"Keep showing me this side of you instead of the guy I met the first time you volunteered for Double Play and you might change my mind."

"Yeah, that guy was a jackass." He smirks, but it doesn't light up his face the way it should. "Kristy and I had fought, and I was frustrated with the situation, but it's no excuse for how I talked to you. I was feeling sorry for myself--that I'd let someone who treated me so poorly have such a big piece of me. But that's not who I am. Not really."

"Can I let you in on a secret? A man that takes accountability when he's wrong is actually a pretty big turn on for a lot of women."

"Is that so?" His eyes sweep over my body.

"Well, I mean, I don't want to speak for my entire gender, but I appreciate the apology."

"In that case, do you think tonight can be our fresh start?"

"Hmmm." I tap my chin, pretending to consider his proposal for a moment. We've both had moments we wish we could take back. But with Tenley watching Holland and life throwing us together, a fresh start is exactly what we need. "Yeah, I think it can."

"Does that mean you're willing to walk in with an eight?"

That makes me laugh. He sounds so serious, but the light is back in his eyes, shining like a beacon in the dark car. "With a heartfelt apology like that, you elevated yourself to at least an eight and a quarter."

He holds my gaze, granting me a crooked smirk that makes my inside sizzle. "I'll be a ten before the night is over."

"Don't be so sure about that." It's strange that I'm so at ease, teasing him like this.

I'm shocked to admit that Xavier Kingsley's not half bad. And he's sure as hell no eight, not even close. He's been at least an eleven since I saw him in his tux.

But I like that he has no idea how he's affecting me.

Chapter 11

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