Page 18 of Passed Ball

"Yousodid." She didn't have to save my ass. She could have sent me home, but she didn't. "There's very few people that would stand tall in front of Braxton and professionally tell him to pound sand, but you did, for me."

She licks her lips and I trace the movement, all too aware of how close we are right now.

"No, I did that for me. I really didn't want to work with Braxton."

I shake my head. "Whatever you say. I like my version better."

When I get an eye roll in return, it feels like the closest thing to a win.

Vivi doesn't wait for me to pass Holland off, taking her from me like she's done it thousands of times before. "Go sign things. We can't have you disappointing all of yourfans."

"Was that--Are you teasing me?"

She hums, her teeth pinning her lip, holding back what I know would be a stunning smile. "Let me tell you about the first time I met your dad. Doesn't that sound like fun, Estrela?" She rolls therso effortlessly that I can tell it's an endearment she's comfortable with.

I want to ask her what it means. But I don't get the chance because her voice shifts to a sweet whisper as she rats me out to my daughter with the embarrassing story of the time she rightfully handed me my ass when I assumed she was a fan, not just a woman doing her job.

A lump forms in my throat as I step back and I can't explain why. The simplest answer is fear--fear over Holland not having her mother in her life. But there's something deeper, something about seeing someone else look at her the way I do, as if she's everything pure and good in this world. She deserves that.

The air in the office is too thick, and I'm more determined than ever to get this over with and leave. I block out the sound of Vivi's chair squeaking, and the gentle hum of her voice as she talks to Holland. I focus on signing one ball after another, then move on to bats and jerseys, trying to drown out the pull in my chest.

By the time I cap the Sharpie and turn around, I'm raw. As if one glance from Vivi could strip me bare and reveal all my shortcomings.

With every intention of getting the hell out of here, I turn toward her desk, finding Holland asleep in her arms. Like a natural, Vivi taps at her phone, using the thumb of her free hand. It's funny, I would've never described Vivi as cold, but the way she looks right now is more serene than anything I could have pictured.

The room seems to expand around me, and the suffocating tension I felt a moment ago lifts. I sit on the table, watching her finish the message, one eyebrow raised, but otherwise completely at ease.

"Want me to take a selfie so you can stare some more?"

A soft chuckle rumbles out of me, but I don't hate that idea nearly as much as I should considering she didn't correct me when I pointed out that she doesn't like me. "You'd have to have my number to send it to me."

"Too bad." She hums, her mouth curving and revealing a dimple I hadn't noticed before. She lifts her chin, and the softness in her expression vanishes, replaced by the professional demeanor I'm more familiar with. "It's none of my business, but what are you going to do about a nanny for her?"

I scratch at the stubble on my jaw. These days, shaving only happens when it becomes unbearable, or when Holland finally goes down for the night without too much fuss. Vivi follows the movement, studying me with quiet attention.

"Some of the wives and girlfriends are helping, but I can't keep relying on them. It's not fair--they've got their own lives. And Cruz and Lilah are going to need help too when their baby arrives."

"So, you're going to find another nanny?"

I let out a frustrated laugh, tipping my head back and staring at the ceiling for a moment. I'm doing everything I can, but it still feels like I'm falling short, and I don't need a reminder of that.

She must sense the misstep because she quickly adds, "The only reason I'm asking is because Tenley really enjoyed spending time with Holland. She hasn't found a summer job yet." Her voice falters a little now. "This might be a terrible idea, but she asked if you were still looking for someone. I'd never hear the end of it if she found out I saw you and didn't check."

That's not at all where I expected this conversation to go.

Her face and her words don't match; I can read the hesitation written all over her pursed lips. "Listen, you don't seem sure about this. If you have doubts about Tenley watching Holland, maybe it's not the best idea. Besides, how would it work with her school schedule this fall?" I ask.

"It's not about Tenley's ability--there's no one more caring. She'll treat Holland like her own."

Vivi's gaze drops to Holland before returning to me. Her brows are drawn together, and her expression is serious, studying me like I'm the threat. It's the same protective instinct I have for my daughter.

"There would need to be rules, clear expectations. When school starts again, Tenley is a student first and a nanny second. Her hours would cut back, drastically. She can only be a piece of the solution, not the whole answer. If this impacts her studies--"

"It's over," I answer for her.

"She can stay when you're out of town, but no moving her in. She's young, and needs time for friends--distance from the job when she's off--a life outside of work."

Her protective instincts are on full display now, laying down boundaries. The implication that she's calling the shots on my childcare doesn't sit well.

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