Page 117 of Passed Ball

"What exactly does he make you forget?" my friend presses, and I stumble for an answer, fear clouding my mind.

"Uh . . . I guess, what I thought I needed and wanted to be happy. I thought I had enough with my job and focusing on myself. But he makes me want more and it's scary."

She raises an eyebrow. "Are you afraid it's going to be like before--that you're going to lose yourself?"

"No. It's the opposite. He takes care of me like no one else ever has. But the idea that I've already fallen hard when we agreed not to catch feelings is a bit nerve racking. I've been on my own for so long. What if I'm not good at really being with someone."

She tilts her head, lips quirked. "Seems like a real problem you've got there, Vi."

"Not helping."

"Are you sure this is about him? Or is it about"--she gestures around us--"being back here? All the stuff with your family you've been carrying for years?"

Good god. The questions throw me off. It's all jumbled up together which is why I wanted to come home and fix this first--sort through the two separately.

"Look. I've never met the man, but I know two things: he's brilliant at giving you orgasms, and he makes you happy. That seems like something you should grab onto with both hands."

I let another sip of wine ease some of my nerves over being home. It's the first time I've been here without Tenley. It's the first time I've been here with this much certainty over who I am and what I want.

"I think I needed this trip home. As much as it's got me rattled, it's a full circle moment. Like maybe it's time to put the past with my family behind me. Start fresh with them. Take back the power this place and my past holds over me."

"Forgive them," she suggests, her voice soft but firm.

I can't help the way my lips pull into a frown. "I don't think they even know they need to be forgiven."

She leans back, arms crossed, like she's about to launch into one of her no-nonsense speeches. "Talk to them first and when you get home, talk to Xavier. You don't let a man like him go."

I stare at my best friend, dumbfounded. "You don't even know him."

"But I know you." Her gaze sharpens. "And you're happy, Vi, that's a good thing."

"It's a start," I say, downing my beer. If Xavier's taught me anything it's that good isn't good enough. I want it all. "Now, let's go shopping"

And that's exactly what we do: shop all afternoon, slipping into laughter and leaving behind the heaviness of dealing with talking to my family for the day.

Chapter 49

Xavier

I'm not trying to snoop, but the notebook left open on my counter before I head to the courthouse makes it impossible. Brightly colored Post-It notes practically beg for attention, and the whole thing looks like one of those string diagrams you see in true crime shows. Except this one has hearts and arrows that scream twenty-year-old girl.

It doesn't take more than a glance to figure out the focus of this operation. Every line and doodle is centered on me and Vivienne. The words jump off the page at me.

Figure out how to get Ginger Daddy and Aunt Vi together.

We've been played like fucking fiddle and I couldn't be happier about it.

Tenley steps into the kitchen, freezing when she finds her notebook in front of me. "Well, shit," she tosses the empty bottle in the sink like she doesn't care--but her stiff posture gives her away. "How mad are you?"

I lean against the counter, holding up the notebook like evidence. "Why would I be mad?"

She smirks, folding her arms. "Maybe because I orchestrated your entire love life?"

"Orchestrated?" I scoff. "That's bold."

She tilts her head, unimpressed. "Look, you're welcome for the assist, but let's not pretend this wasn't my doing. I mean,come on."

I laugh, setting the evidence down. If she only knew how her aunt and I really got our start. She'd probably beat me over the head with her notebook to shut me up. "I hate to break it to you, but this project only sped things up. Vivienne and I would've ended up together anyway."

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