Page 100 of Passed Ball

This is the part Vivienne was talking about whereIcan make a difference.

I wet my lips, looking up for help, direction, afuckingclue on where to start. But there's no one. At nearly six-thirty, the boys still haven't been picked up.How often is this happening, I wonder, still looking for my sign to continue.

I turn on the bleacher so I'm facing Eli head-on.

"My mom died when I was young and my dad was . . . well, let's just say he was a piece of work. I think if he'd stayed sober long enough to figure out how to hand me over to the state, he would have." The dark laugh that breaks loose takes me by surprise. "I don't know what's going on at home, but I know what it's like to have a parent who's not around much. Or who doesn't want to be. I've been there and it might not be much, but if this helps, I'll make sure you both have the gear you need."

"Okay," he says, quick to accept my reasoning. "Okay," he repeats.

That was easier than I expected.

"You know," Eli says, his hand landing on my shoulder and his lips flattening, looking serious beyond his years. "If you just, like, stop being dramatic about it and, I dunno, go outside and touch some grass, maybe this decades old trauma wouldn't weigh you down. Like, you've got all this stuff bottled up, and you're not even letting it out. Let it out like a big fart or whatever. You might feel better." He pauses, then shrugs. "Or, you know, take Vivi on a date. Hot girls fix everything."

Yeah, I knew it was too easy. "A comedian and baseball player. You remind me of my teammate, Dom."

"He's hilarious. I follow him on Insta. I'm thinking of turning my trauma into a side hustle someday. Gotta start now if I want to be good at it, right?"

"Right," I say, wondering how quickly we lost the thread of this conversation. I stand, tilting my head towards the lobby. "Let's go find your brother, and I'll talk to Vi about that gear."

Eli hops off the bleachers like we didn't just have a heavy-ass conversation and follows me across the gym, peppering me with questions about playing professionally.

Ezra sits in the lobby, his arms crossed, staring at the front door--watching and waiting. I open my mouth to say--I don't even know what. Clay gives me a slight shake of his head.

I look at Eli and he waves me off, falling into the chair next to his brother. Taking the hint, I veer off into the hallway behind Clay to look for Vi.

I find her still holed-up in her office, her head bent over her keyboard, phone to her ear. Her fingers make a mess of her hair as she nervously plays with it.

"Glenda. This is Vivienne Cardoza from Double Playagain. It's six-thirty, and the boys are still waiting to be picked up. This is becoming an issue. Pick-up ends at six. Please call me back immediately to let me know when you'll be here."

A future where Holland deals with this kind of shit from Kristy flashes in front of my eyes and I make a note to follow up with Collin and make sure my testimony for the upcoming custody hearing is airtight.

"Does this happen often?" I ask when she ends the call.

"More than it should." She lifts her head, her mouth forming a littleOwhen she sees me. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to know they're great kids. Eli's really something--funny as hell. Ezra . . . he's . . ." Too serious. Like someone who has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"I worry about him. He takes everything so personally, like it's his job to fix things he can't control."

I nod. I round her desk, leaning over her chair and rubbing her shoulders until some of the tension she's carrying from the phone call ebbs.

We can talk about the catcher gear later.

Loud voices break through the silence of her office and she tips her head back, giving me a look I've seen before. The one she used to get right before she'd lay into me. Only this time it's not aimed at me and I'm extremely grateful to be on her good side.

And I hope I can convince her to come over later and work off some of the tension I can see building in her shoulders from dealing with the boys' mom.

Chapter 43

Vivienne

Of all the days Glenda could've picked to be late again, she picked the one that's supposed to be a happy occasion for the boys. The catcher's gear for Ezra and bat for Elijah that Xavier picked out himself, came in this afternoon. When I called them into my office a half an hour ago to give it to them, they were overjoyed.

They called Xavier on FaceTime together from my phone to thank him. It was a great distraction until they hung up and realized it was quiet outside my office. All the other kids had been picked up and their mom was late again.

I'm about to call her when the lobby door opens, and she bursts through.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Glenda coos.

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