Page 98 of Devil's Doom

“No,” I finally say when he caresses my cheek with his knuckle. “I want to be alone. I promise I won’t try to run away.”

He snorts with amusement and shakes his head once. “I’m too selfish to leave you even for five minutes, pet. Are you hungry? We’ll eat in the common room. I’ll carry you if you’re sore.”

This is all too much. Too much affection, too many words, and too muchWoland.I’ve never spent so much time with him in one stretch, and it’s a horrible strain. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall.

“I don’t understand you.”

“You don’t have to,” he says gently, cupping my cheek. “One day, it will all make sense.”

Chapter thirty-three

Toy

A week passes in a blur. Woland doesn’t leave my side, spending every night buried deep inside me, and walking me everywhere during the day. I’m helpless to deny him, but I stop speaking and only answer direct questions. I have one goal now: to remember he’s a liar.

It’s hard. He’s sweet and tender, and kisses me constantly. He braids my hair every morning, feeds me at meals, whispers unctuous words of love when he fucks me. I develop a nervous tick in my eyelid and an irrational itch on my inner forearm that no herbs or magic can cure.

He leaves the base in short bursts, three hours when I’m busy in the sick chamber, two more when I chitchat with Rada and Lutowa. I am never completely alone.

It’s hard to breathe.

All my life, I was mostly on my own. And even though I told myself that I loved it and it was for the best, a part of me longed for company. I looked at Ida and other girls in the village, how they always moved in groups, holding hands, exchanging secret whispers. I watched the couples disappearing together in barns for quick trysts in the middle of busy summer days, and I thought,I want that, too.

So it’s a shock of sorts that now that I have constant company, it’s so loathsome. I dream of spending just one night on my own, with nothing but the sheets touching my skin. I take longer and longer in the bathroom, just breathing and pressing both palms to the cool, unfeeling wall, because as soon as I come out,heis there, the weight of his eyes on me like a leash.

I never thought I would miss being alone so badly, but here it is. My heart doesn’t help. Every day, it beats with longing and hope, craving to drink in his kisses and smiles like parched earth, and every day, I deny it that sustenance.

Remember his lies. Do not trust him. Remember what he is.

When Wera informs me one morning that I’m going to be a part of a covert rescue mission in the city, I heave a sigh of utter relief. It doesn’t dissipate even when she tells me Lech will accompany me for my protection, and that she will be in command.

“You will be our healer, and if everything goes well, you won’t need to fight. We’re going to pull out two rebels who were locked up in the guard tower. They are due to be tried tomorrow, so we’re going tonight.”

When I ask her for more details, she says in a patronizing tone that I don’t need to worry about anything, only follow her lead.

Woland comes to collect me at the end of my training session, perfectly on time.

“Are you coming, too?” I ask, wondering if he’ll let me go alone.

“Not as my handsome self,” he says with a blinding grin. “But I’ll send a few shadows your way to make sure you’re safe. I’ll never let anything happen to my beautiful poppy girl.”

My heart thumps sickly in my chest, eager to take in that scrap of praise. I clench my jaw and deny it.

Another lie. He’ll watch to make sure I don’t run.

“How does that work?” I ask idly when he sits by my side in the common dining room, a few plates already floating through the air to settle in front of us. “How far can you send your shadows?”

He wraps his tail around my waist while his hands are busy arranging the food until everything I’m supposed to eat is on one plate, the fork in his hand, and no cutlery for me. I grab the triangular tip of his tail on impulse, a bit too hard, maybe. He shivers and shoots me a sultry look.

“Careful, that’s sensitive. And to answer your question: I can send them far enough. You needn’t worry. If anything threatens you, I’ll be there in an eyeblink.”

I strangle my heart’s eager yipping of a dog begging for a bone, and translate his words in my head:If you try to run, I’ll catch you before you make three steps.

“I feel so safe,” I say without inflection, digging my nails into his tail sharply before I let go. “Can I please eat on my own?”

“No.” He piles a portion of soft, herb-seasoned cheese onto the fork. “Let me dote on you, sweetheart. I love taking care of my consort. I could do this for eternity.”

I don’t even bother to suppress my shudder of revulsion.Gods.Even just a week has me contemplating drastic measures, like blinding myself so I don’t have to see his face every minute of my waking time. An eternity of this? I’d rather die.

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