Page 137 of Devil's Doom

Woland’s voice loses its cruel edge, becoming pitiful. I hate his pity. I’d rather he mocked me, but instead, he explains with an infuriating gentleness how he fooled me.

“You were doomed the moment I saw where you put my collateral,” he says, his hold tight, but not painful. He presses himself to the length of my body with possessive familiarity. “I understood what you felt for me, and it opened so many possibilities. I knew you so well by then. I knew exactly what to do.”

I swallow, tears threatening to fall. Gods. When will I learn?

“I decided to work with your weaknesses instead of using them against you. Your great capacity for caring, your need for friendship and acceptance—I used that to make you care for my movement, my people, my goals. I fanned the flames of your misguided, youthful love. Don’t feel bad that you fell for it. Older, more experienced women would have fallen faster than you.”

He presses me closer, and my gut plummets, cold dread freezing me from the inside. A moment ago, I wasn’t afraid, but when I realize how openly he speaks, revealing all the secrets he kept from me, a sudden panic grips my lungs, making it impossible to breathe.

“Why are you telling me this?” I demand, my voice growing high-pitched from fear.

He sighs deeply, partly resigned, partly amused. My skin crawls with disgust. Oh gods. This is it. He found a way to heal my infertility. He’ll rape and impregnate me, and I won’t be able to stop him. I have no magic to spare. I’m trapped.

“I suppose I needed you to know. You’re awfully frustrating,” he says with a bitter chuckle. “So sweet and rewarding one moment, an obstinate hag the next. But like I said, you do have a special place in my heart. I long to lie in bed with you, joined by my thorns, and honestly tell you things, even the worst ones. It’s exhausting to keep secrets from you. Ah, how you tremble. It’s delicious. Do you finally have some respect for your master?”

I shake from silent laughter that’s pure despair. It’s exhaustingto keep secrets from me? I find it hilarious that I used to share that sentiment. I longed to trust him, to let him close, for the love between us to grow.

But his love was a lie. And mine was a misguided error of a pitiful, stupid girl.

“All you’re a master of is a bunch of corrupt, hideous creatures,” I say, my voice trembling with that muffled laughter. “You’ll never win anything. And you’ll always be weaker than Perun.”

He snarls, and I grin, my words hitting the mark. That’s where it hurts, what he cares about—to defeat the top god. He turns me sharply, his claws raking through my skin, and I welcome the pain. It’s so much better than pity.

“Tell me, then,” I say, looking into his angry eyes. “Is that your truecause? You just want to throw Perun off his throne, is that it? Do you even have any idea what you’ll do afterward? I don’t think so. This is just a petty fight for you. A pastime for a bored, lazy god.”

His hands clench into fists until blood drips between his knuckles. He juts his chin forward, and I feel the tension in him, coming off in waves. He wants to hit me. Maybe even kill me. I laugh in the face of his anger, too reckless to care.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Woland growls, his voice low and threatening.

“And I don’t care to know.” My smile turns into a grimace of hatred. “Because that weakness you used against me, my love and caring, is gone now. I will leave this place one way or another, because I’ll never support you or your movement after everything I saw today.”

“Oh, Jaga,” Woland says, his face growing gentle, just a hint of a contemptuous sneer twisting his mouth. “Everything that’s done can be undone. You said you were almost ready to surrender, and that’s all I care to know. I’m glad we had this conversation. And I’m sorry. I hoped it wouldn’t come to this.”

He smiles, something sad and regretful in his eyes. Cold terror grips my limbs, and I stare, dread growing in the pit of my stomach, until he speaks again.

“You will forget everything that happened today.”

Chapter forty-six

Night

His magic slithers in through my eyes. My barriers are weak and scattered, and before I have time to react, memories begin to dissolve. I scramble to tighten the wall blocking access to my mind. Hastily, I build it up, brick by brick, until my memories are shielded. The shield stops the onslaught, but not before things vanish.

I remember running after Wera, her holdingsomething,but I don’t know what. And I remember Lutowa eating bread, a foul feeling in my chest, but I forget why. Did she do something wrong? I don’t know.

Yet the rest of it stays. Mokosz kissing Woland, him kissing her back. The rebels attacking mamunas. And Woland’s words of truth, each and every hateful one, still lodge in my mind like poisonous plants.

I blink, my heart beating faster and faster. How am I supposed to pretend I forgot it when all my fury, hurt, and shame swirl right under my skin, so raw and exposed?

He looks at me closely, his eyes filled with concern and love. Gone is his hatred, his pity, his triumph, but his face isn’t etched into the neutral mask I used to take as a sign of him hiding things. His expression is so shockingly genuine, I finally understand how he managed to lie so convincingly about his love.

And if he can lie, I will, too. With all my soul.

I smile at him, burying everything deep.He is my lover, my groom, my god. That’s all he is. I love him.

Loathing tries to rise in my chest, and I suppress it mercilessly. Hatred rears its head, and I push it down, focusing on all the love I have to give and beaming it at Woland.

He smiles back, handsome and pleased. “I’m back, my love,” he says, caressing my cheek with his knuckle. “Did you have a good nap?”

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