Page 95 of Installment Immortality

“Great. Who sent you?”

“Brenna Kelly.”

That wasnota name I’d been expecting to hear. I stopped moving and just blinked at her. “What?”

“Brenna Kelly. You know, tall, sexy, dragon princess, always sounds like she’s trying to make up her mind whether you’re just the cutest little schnookums she ever did see or her next bed-buddy; very blonde, very smart, very scary when she wants to be? That Brenna Kelly.”

“Shesent you.”

“Yeah, well, something about the dragons of New York told her you were having a hard time of it, and she doesn’t want to have to start working with a new negotiator when her Nest needs another male, and can I just say I’m glad thatmyspecies has never quite reached that level of endangered? Ugh, imagine needing topayfor boyfriends. But yeah, she called me and Pax both, told us you were in a bad way and offered to put us in touch with the Manhattan Nest so we could come and visit you.”

“Wait.” I turned to look suspiciously at the door. “Pax is here?”

“No, he sends his regards, but one of his wives is on the verge of pupping, and he didn’t want to leave her.” Malena shrugged. “You know, it’s kinda fun—out of the three of us, your species is the only one that doesn’t have pups. Isn’t that funny?”

“I guess,” I said, turning back to her. “I feel like it’s probably more a sign that humanity won the linguistics fight in almost all languages, and we got to decide what things were called. But ‘pup’ is one of the more common terms for baby things, and it’s one of the pretty positive ones, too. People like to hear about pups. Speaking of which, weren’t you talking about pupping?”

Malena wasn’t human, which I’m sure is pretty obvious by this point. She was a chupacabra, a shapeshifting synapsid that hadn’t changed in any meaningful way since dinosaurs walked the earth—although I’m sure their “humanoid” form had looked pretty different before they had actual primates to emulate.

It’s an interesting question, with the shapeshifters. Most evolved alongside or before humanity. Some, like the chupacabra, are classified as members of taxonomical families that died out before primates really got started. So what did they shapeshift into before we were around? Or have they always turned into things that could pass for human, andwewere the ones trying to emulatethemfor our own protection? Maybe chupacabra didn’t modify their forms to blend among the human population, humans evolved to blend into the chupacabra population.

It’s an interesting question, and one that may never be answered, since at the end of the day, it’s just not important enough to be worth inventing time travel to figure out.

Malena shrugged. “I negotiated a breeding,” she said. “Only one litter, though, and he got raising privileges. So I laid his eggs and I left him to hatch them. When it’s my turn to parent, I’m going to opt for live birth.”

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” I said, and winced as the baby kicked me, hard, in one of my internal organs.

Malena frowned, seeing my expression change. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just need to sit down.” I relocked the door, then shuffled my way back to the kitchen to get my coffee before moving to sit on the couch. “Sit” may be a generous description for the way I basically folded up and collapsed, like I’d lost control of my joints.

I didn’t spill my coffee. I still had enough control over myself to manage that, and I was briefly smug about it.

“So anyway, I’m here because Brenna asked me to be, and being a dragon, she followed her asking with an offer, and let’s just sayyou have a full-time companion for the next six months, and I’m going to be able to afford to have that baby sooner than I’d been expecting to,” said Malena, walking over to sit more gracefully on the other end of the couch. “You can object, but I wouldn’t if I were you. This is the best offer you’re going to get, and she wasn’t wrong. You need someone to keep you from continuing with”—she waved a hand, indicating the entirety of me—“whatever this is. Like I said, you look like hell. That can’t be good for the baby. You humans are pack animals. Where’s your pack?”

“I’m fine,” I muttered, feeling suddenly and—presumably accurately—judged.

“You’re not, though,” she insisted. “All primates need to be around other primates, especially when they’re gravid. It’s part of how you stay healthy. I used to think it was a weakness, but after laying my own eggs and trying to keep myself alive while I kept them safe and waited for my instincts to settle down enough that I could let anyone else near the nest, I think it’s an advantage.”

“I think being able to lay eggs would be an advantage,” I said. “I didn’t realize it was something you chose whether or not to do. How does that work?”

“Diet, mostly,” said Malena. “And temperature. If you want to lay eggs, you have to force yourself to eat a bunch of bone shards and eggshells, and keep them down after you do. But it’s easier to eat solid food when you’re pregnant.”

“Really?” I chuckled bitterly. “That’s another place where humans and chupacabra are different, then. I’m having trouble keeping solids down. My bullet blender and I are basically engaged at this point.”

“Good thing I brought my own,” said Malena. “I’m a wizard at the all-liquid diet. You just tell me what you want to eat, and what the standard vitamin supplements for a pregnant human are, and I’ll make sure you don’t miss cooking.”

I snorted. “Oh, you should open a smoothie bar with that as the slogan,” I said. “Malena’s Miracle Mixtures! New on the menu: mashed potatoes and slime.”

“I make a really great potato leek soup,” said Malena. “Chicken foam optional.”

I shuddered, only somewhat theatrically. “Please never say those words in that order again,” I said. “Remember, that’s another thing about pregnant humans: we have a hair-trigger gag reflex, and Iwillbarf all over your shoes.”

“You will not!” She held up one foot for inspection, showing me her pristine sneaker. “Someof us remember how to wear shoes.”

“Yeah, well, some of us can find our feet,” I countered. “Just… tread lightly on the food subject, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Malena.

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