Page 50 of Them Bones

Fuck.

“I’m sorry, Shane,” she murmured. “I’m sorry, okay? I just… missed you. I don’t know why I’m picking a fight. I don’t know why this is so hard. Why it’s so hard for us, I mean.”

“Because we shouldn’t be together,” Shane said. The words tasted like shit.

Laney dropped his hand and sucked in a breath. “That’s what you think?”

“Look, I’m fucked up right now, okay? Can we talk about this when I’m sober?”

“No,” she said coldly. “You’re being more honest with me right now than you’ve ever been.”

“Laney, come on…” he was scrambling to make his brain work, to say something that would fix the unsettled feeling in his heart, but his vision was swimming, and he was sinking into the ground in slow motion. He had no idea if it was her or the drugs. Probably both.

“It’s fine,” she said in a strange voice, “let’s just go back inside.”

He followed her, the air between them strained, but time was starting to act funny. Cody’s joint had definitely been laced with a downer, because he could feel his eyelids trying to close, his body sluggish and heavy. All he wanted was to go to sleep. But he fought to stay awake, stumbling after her, as she madeher way through the party, accepting Jell-o shots and hugging people he didn’t recognize, socializing and making people laugh.

She worked the room just like Linette.

Shane couldn’t keep up. He collapsed onto a rickety chair in the corner, every smile she gave someone feeling like a stab through the heart. Jerry appeared and sat down on the floor beside him with a grunt.

“Can you take me home, Jerry?”

“Nah, I can’t drive no more. It’s gonna be a few hours ‘fore a cab is free. New Year and all.”

Shane’s eyes followed her everywhere. There was a physical ache in his bones from how bad he wanted to go to her, to touch her. But he couldn’t shake the feeling he’d had outside. That no matter how much he might like her – and there was no point in pretending that he didn’t – that she really was still just a kid.

Not yetmight work for him. But with a horrible, sinking feeling, he knew it wouldn’t work forher.She’d just keep pushing, and pushing, until he caved. And it wasn’t right. He wanted too much from her and she wasn’t ready for it, and he wasn’t just thinking about sex. She wasn’t ready for him, forthem –even if she thought she was. If he was beingreallyhonest, he wasn’t ready for ‘them’, either. He didn’t want to steal what little remained of her childhood. He wanted her to grow up, first. And he had a little more of that left to do himself, too.

Better to break her heart and save her, than save her heart and break her.

This fucking sucks.

Jerry whistled. “You look wrecked, boy. I know that feelin’.”

“Hawtons,” Shane muttered. Jerry chuckled and took another sip of beer.

“Amen to that.”

Someone had taken control of the music, and a heavy grunge tune was playing.

I believe them bones are me

Some say we’re born into the grave

I feel so alone

Gonna end up a big ol’ pile of them bones

Everyone in the room started pairing up, the crowd counting down loudly over the music.

Fifteen!

Fourteen!

Thirteen!

A pretty redhead around his age was sitting on the floor beside him, looking up at him shyly.

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