Page 25 of Asher

“Snow. Yay,” I manage, but I must be really unconvincing, because not even these primary-aged children look like they believe me. “Well,” I say, trying to rally, “let’s not disturb Sid’s lesson any more than we need to. I believe some of you are coming with me?”

There’s a little cheer from some of the smallest ones, and they scramble out of their chairs. Some hop from foot to foot, and I put a bathroom visit on the agenda. They might just be excited, but with little kids, it can be hard to know for sure until it’s too late.

Sid and I both do a headcount to make sure everyone who’s supposed to come with me is ready, and then I lead them out of the classroom and into the assembly hall… with a stop at the restrooms.

When we’re all sitting cross-legged in a semicircle on the floor, I say, “What do we know about shifters?”

All six hands go up, including Isaac’s, Asher’s littlest cousin. We go around the circle.

“They can change into animals!”

“They can’t teleport ’cause they shift instead.”

“There aretwokinds.”

“They’re kitties and puppies and would maybe be fun to pet.”

I make a mental note to spend some time on the concept of not touching strange animals without permission. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was a shifter—though it’s considered rude—but random dogs and cats can be dangerous.

“Lucifer Sam is a kitty shifter.”

“They poop glitter!”

My jaw drops, and I blink in shock a few times. Wepoop glitter? As the other children ooh and aah and ask Isaac how he knows that, I try to get my composure back. I would have thought that he, of all the kids, would have been the least likely to say something like that, since I’ve had the most interaction with him and Chloe. They also spent several days with Lucifer Sam. Clearly reality went off the rails somewhere.

“Let’s all settle down, please.” I wait until they’re quiet again, then continue. “It sounds like you all know lots already, but there’s still more to learn. And I’m sorry to tell you, shifters don’t poop glitter.” I can’t believe that’s a sentence I had to say.

“Awww.” The disappointed moan runs around the circle, but Isaac sets his jaw.

“My brother Micah said they do.” He sniffs. “Micah wouldn’t tell a lie.”

I highly doubt that, since it was Micah who told the lie that led to my engagement, but I’m not going to be the one to tell Isaac that. “Is that exactly what he said to you? He said ‘shifters poop glitter’?” I’ve worked with enough kids to know things get mixed up really easily.

Doubt flitters across his little face, so like his brother’s and cousins’. “Zac said Asher is sessed with you and he didn’t know why, and Micah said you pooped glitter ’cause hellhounds love glitter.”

The only part of that I can make sense of is that hellhounds love glitter. That’s true. Even I’m susceptible to glitter-phoria, and I’m considered a low-key hellhound. But the rest… I’m not even sure what “sessed” was supposed to be. I really hope it’s “obsessed” and not “sexed up” or something like that.

Regardless, the kids are all way too invested in this now, and I’m not going to get anywhere unless we settle it. So I pull out my phone. “How about I ask Micah to come and join us and explain exactly what he meant? Because I know that I for sure don’t poop glitter. And then after that, we can talk about some other shifter things, and then play tag.”

Little faces light up. “Play tag?”

I compose a quick text to Micah, using a lot of capital letters and exclamation marks. “Yep.”

“Will you be a puppy when we play tag?” The question has a lot of anxious longing behind it, and I bite back a smile.

“I guess that depends on how the rest of the lesson goes. Now, let’s talk about the two kinds of shifters.”

It takes less than ten minutes before Micah puts in an appearance, wearing a sheepish expression. I don’t feel bad for what I’m about to do—doesn’t know why Asher might be obsessed with me, huh? How about because I’m obsession-worthy?

“Say hi to Micah, everyone,” I prompt, and the kids twist around to see him, shouting their greeting. I guess they’re excited to hear the glitter poop story.

“Hi, kids,” Micah says, coming to stand beside me and hovering awkwardly when I don’t get up. Instead, I pat the floor.

“Join us, Micah,” I encourage. “We don’t bite.” The kids laugh, and Micah sinks awkwardly down and tries to fold his legs the way we have ours. I guess it’s been a long time since he’s done this.

The smile he sends my way is apologetic and slightly afraid. I smile back with as many teeth as I can manage, and he winces.

“There’s a little bit of confusion,” I begin. “Isaac heard you say that shifters poop glitter, and as a shifter, I know that’s not true.” I mean, not without having ingested it first, which has happened on occasion for various reasons that I’m sure made sense at the time. “Could you help us clear this up?”

---