Page 80 of Scarlet Angel

“Dandy.”

“Pissed?”

“What gave it away?”

I exhale, tired of this game she and I play. “What would you have me do? If the shoes were reversed, and you found me with a needle up my arm, what would you have done?”

She has the wisdom to look away. She folds her arms over her middle and pouts like a teen.

“You nearly killed yourself.”Bloody hell. What the fuck should I do?

“I would’ve been fine,” she mumbles.

“Would you now? Is that what you’ve been doing with your days? When I’ve thought you’ve been riding, you’ve been in a stall shooting up and coming inside when you come to? Rolling around in the horse dung? That’s your idea of a good time?”

I close my eyes because I can’t look at her. I shouldn’t have come here. It’s too early in the process. She’s at the angry stage.We’rein the angry stage.

But I don’t have a fucking choice.

“I’m sorry.”

The words are so faint I can’t quite believe she said them. “What are you sorry for?”

She wipes a palm across her face. Is she crying?

“I think I do… I’m…” She tilts her head and looks up to the ceiling or the heavens… Anywhere but me. “I have a problem.”

She sniffles. I don’t move. Don’t speak.

“The urges are strong. I’ve been…doing it alone.”

Christ.

She sniffles. “So you don’t need to kill anyone.”

I keep her out of the business, so what’s she going on about?

She smiles, but her eyes are a teary mess. “Anyway, if that’s what you came to hear, I’m tired. I’m in this time. I want to stop.”

Before, she’d been adamant. Claimed I’m too old. I didn’t understand. She’d been full of accusations. My throat tightens, and I sniff, fighting the urge to pull my little sister into my arms. I practically raised her and did a shite job of it, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love the pain in the arse.

“I don’t wanna die. Is that what you want to hear?”

“That you want to get better? That you’ll put the work into doing so? Yeah, that’s what I want to hear.”

“You couldn’t wait to hear it. You had to break policy? Couldn’t give me space to get my head on?”

Oh. That. I fidget a bit. Damn.

“Did someone else die?”

“No.” Her question snaps me out of whatever bog I fell into. “But you’ll be having security here.” I can’t read her expression. “I know it’s not your favorite, but it’s…” I lick my lower lip because it’s dry as fuck. “I’ve pissed off some people, and I… You’re going to need to be careful. Smart. It’s not inconceivable they’ll come after you to get at me. You know what I’m saying?”

“If someone shows up telling me you’ve bought me a pony and do I want to go see it, I shouldn’t climb in the van. That’s what you’re saying?”

“You’re a bright one.”

We both fight smiles as we look at each other.

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