Page 48 of Daddy Down Under

I broke.

A sob tore from my throat, raw and primal. And suddenly, I was falling, floating, drifting in a sea of sensation. The pain blurred into pleasure, fear into exhilaration. I felt lighter than I had in years, maybe decades. The world had narrowed to this moment, this feeling. Nothing existed beyond Ocean’s touch, his voice, the incredible sense of freedom washing over me.

“That’s it,” Ocean praised, resuming the spanking with softer, almost caressing swats. “Let it all out.”

I surrendered to the sensations, my body going limp across Ocean’s lap. Each smack sent waves of pleasure coursing through me, my mind drifting in a hazy cloud of endorphins. I felt weightless, free. Loved.

“That’s it. Just breathe. You’re riding the waves now, sweetheart. Let them carry you. I’m so proud of you.”

“Ocean…”

I wasn’t even sure what I was begging for, but Ocean seemed to understand. His hand stilled, coming to rest on the small of my back.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, and I believed him.

I took a shuddering breath as Ocean’s hands shifted, gently easing me off his lap. The world tilted, and I was cradled against his chest, my face tucked into the crook of his neck. His arms encircled me, strong and secure, like a fortress against the tumultuous emotions swirling within me.

His lips brushed against my temple. His fingers carded through my hair, each stroke sending shivers down my spine. “You’re safe, Cash. You did so well.”

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t even form coherent thoughts. I just pressed closer, breathing in Ocean’s scent—a heady mix of salt and citrus that reminded me of sun-warmed beaches. My body felt boneless, my mind blissfully quiet for the first time in years.

I became aware of a dampness on my cheeks. Was I crying? I was. Not the harsh, wracking sobs from before, but silent tears that flowed freely, without shame or restraint. It should’ve been mortifying, being curled up in another man’s lap like a child. But in that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“You’re incredible.” Ocean pressed a kiss to my forehead. “So strong, so brave. Thank you for trusting me with this.”

I managed a weak chuckle, my voice hoarse. “Pretty sure I fought you every step of the way.”

“You pushed through your fear, Cash. That takes real courage.”

I lifted my head, meeting Ocean’s gaze. The tenderness I saw there made my breath catch. Then he smiled, a gentle curve of his lips that made my heart skip. Something unfolded inside me, unfurled, unclenched…and opened like a flower to the sun.

Uh-oh.

“Can we talk now?” Ocean asked softly.

I nodded before even thinking about it. When he looked at me like that, I wanted to do anything for him. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on my cheek. “Let me use the restroom, and then we’ll put some aloe lotion on that gorgeous red ass of yours. That’ll help it sting a little less.”

My ass was the least of my concerns right now, but I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I nodded again.

He gently put me on my feet, waiting a moment while I found my equilibrium, then helped me pull up my underwear and pants. I avoided his eyes as I made myself presentable again, my ass glowing like I’d burned myself.

Another soft kiss and Ocean disappeared into the bathroom. Reality came crashing in like a tidal wave. My heart, which had been so open moments ago, clenched painfully in my chest. What had I done? I’d let myself be completely vulnerable, exposed my deepest, most shameful desires to a virtual stranger.

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the short strands as if I could physically pull the shame from my mind. My skin felt too tight, panic clawing at my insides. The opulent suite suddenly felt suffocating.

“I’m not… I can’t be…”

The word caught in my throat.Submissive.

The term Preston had scoffed at, judged as a sign of weakness. Now, it felt like a brand on my skin, impossible to ignore.

I couldn’t stay here. The thought was overwhelming, intrusive, drowning out all reason. I glanced at the bathroom door, heart pounding. Any second now, Ocean would emerge, and I’d have to face what I’d done. What I’d revealed about myself.

I grabbed my wallet and phone while shoving my feet into my shoes, not bothering with socks. The Piaget watch on the nightstand caught my eye—a symbol of the man I was supposed to be. Powerful. In control. What a fucking joke I was.

One last glance at the bathroom door, still closed, water still running.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, though I wasn’t sure who I was apologizing to—Ocean or myself.

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