Page 98 of If Our Hearts Collide

“Pretty sure I got you, but who’s keeping score?”

“Next round.”

We go back into position.

But this time I allow Penny this one victory.

“Got you good,” she screams three solid seconds before jumping onto my back.

I heard her a mile away and braced myself for her attack.

I fake fall to the mat with her attached to my back.

“You aren’t supposed to warn people before you pounce on them. And self-defense never means attacking first,” I reiterate.

Peeling back my blindfold, I pull Penny around and onto the mat.

“You like my mad skill?”

“What am I going to do with you?”

Her eyes focus in on my lips. I’m giving her mixed messages and that’s not fair.

It’s not fair that my inability to keep things professional is warping with her mind.

“Kiss me?”

My eyes dart to hers. I had to mishear her. There’s no way she is requesting this right now.

But here I sit, stuck in a haze of attraction, unable to comprehend the reality that it can be mutual.

Damn fucking hell…

“No, Penny.”

Her face reddens, and she pulls away.

“I’m your bodyguard.”

“Some boundaries are meant to be crossed.”

“I can’t.”

“But…” She stands up and starts fast-paced walking to the door, clearly embarrassed. Turning back around, with tears staining her cheeks, she looks at me like I just crushed her entireworld. She wants to say something. It’s as if the words are on the tip of her tongue. “Oh, never mind.”

And then she walks out.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but allowing Penny to walk away without me fully explaining my side of things has to be in the top three of mistakes.

Not only have I made things worse by not clarifying my feelings and reasoning as to why I couldn’t kiss her, I have created this irreparable distance between us. I can feel it. I don’t need any more confirmation that it exists other than the collective ignoring of my texts and attempts at contact that Penny has been giving me for the last three hours.

She is shutting me out, and I don’t blame her.

If anyone is at fault, it’s me. I have given her mixed messages, and now the look of devastation over my rejection will be a permanent memory in my mind.

And it was all over my weakness toward her.

I failed her.

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