Page 80 of If Our Hearts Collide

My hand twitches, thinking of other ways to brand her, mark her, and make her mine.

This sexual frustration has to be because I haven’t fulfilled that need, that avenue, in too long. I could be lusting afteranyone right now, and having Penny in close proximity just makes it easier for me to picture her in every corner of my life.

I need to get out of town. I need an outlet to channel all this pent-up aggression, especially before I start making mistakes I won’t be able to undo.

“Your skin is too pure to mar with the tainting of ink.” Unless I’m there to witness it and help her through the precipice of pain.

And unfortunately, I can’t do that. I can’t be the support system she needs.

Penny bites at her bottom lip and rocks on her heels. Confusion forms in her eyes. We both have gotten wrapped up in the moment, neither of us appearing to understand how we got to this place in time.

Has the universe lost its mind too or is this part of some cosmic plan—to put us together only to tear us apart?

“Did you need some?—”

“Oh yeah,” she interrupts and then glances off to the side, looking a bit sheepish. “Sorry. Um, I came here because I wanted to ask if you have a night-light. I know it’s stupid, but I have a hard time sleeping when it’s so dark in the room. I know I can open the curtains, but it just freaks me out too and…” Her words stop. She looks embarrassed.

It hurts me that she’s still affected by the darkness of the past that must seep through the cracks in her waking thoughts. I can only imagine what evilness awaits her once she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.

I know therapy has helped with her coping with the drugging incident. However, memories and fragments of memories are ticking time bombs—waiting to come out and cause damage when she probably least expects it.

“No worries, Penny. I think I have one in the kitchen. Let’s go check.”

“I appreciate it,” she says meekly, tears forming in her eyes.

“Hey,” I say, pulling her closer to me, “it’s going to be okay.”

“I just get”—she sniffles—“scared sometimes.”

I nod, giving her a squeeze as we walk into the kitchen. I release my hold on her to open the cabinet where I keep batteries, flashlights, and other random things. Everything is neatly labeled in bins for easy access. I find the package of night-lights, handing two to Penny, along with a pocket-sized flashlight.

“Is that enough?”

She nods. I can tell she wants to break down, and it tears at my heart to know she’s ashamed near me. She never has to feel that way. I understand demons. If only she realized how alike we really are.

I lead her back to her room and watch from the doorframe as she finds free outlets for the lights.

“Good night, Penny,” I whisper, taking a step backward in retreat.

“Good night.” Her tone is sad, and I know I won’t be able to sleep knowing that she is here feeling uncertain.

“Collins?” Her voice is barely a whisper.

“Yeah?”

Her shaky hands fix her hair, as she shifts her weight from foot to foot. “Do you mind sitting with me until I fall asleep?”

“I don’t mind at all.”

15

PENNY

“Thanks for the ride,” I say, as Collins pulls up the driveway to my parents’ house.

I take a sip from my disposable coffee cup that Collins picked up for me at a drive-thru on our way here, insisting I have something on my stomach. I’m learning how to pick and choose my battles with that man. I mean, the bacon and egg wrap was really delicious, so I don’t have a lot of room to complain over his bossiness.

Collins’s eyes scan over the house, probably looking for any potential threats. It’s how his brain must think. “No problem, Penny.”

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