Page 27 of If Our Hearts Collide

Just how she says the word “sweet” makes me feel a rush of warmth coat my insides. I am nearly positive “sweet” is never used to describe me, when ruthless, methodical, and unyielding seem to do a more accurate job. Thus, the sound of it coming from her lips feels so foreign.

While I’m not an asshole to women by any means, I’m not exactly what someone would consider boyfriend material either.

Our hands brush against each other’s as I hand over the gift box that contains what I think Penny would appreciate. But what do I know? I haven’t picked out a personal gift for someone in quite some time. I definitely haven’t been around to watch anyone open something that was hand selected either.

I rock on my heels as Penny rips off the paper and tosses the box lid behind her. Her bottom lip slips between the cage of her top teeth, and I can’t stop wondering if her skin there is as soft as it appears.

“You got me a year’s pass to the Japanese Garden?”

I shrug, not really knowing how to feel. “Yeah.” My shoulders tense as I watch Penny pull off the tissue paper.

“I love it there,” she says thoughtfully. “I haven’t been there since…”

Seattle. Shit. I want her to be happy, not sad. The last thing she needs are reminders of all she has missed.

“And a journal?”

I nod.

She eyes me with curiosity. “How did you know I just discovered my current one is completely filled?”

“I didn’t know.” The only thing I knew was that her therapists encouraged her to write in one. “There’s one more thing.” When she looks confused, I point toward the journal that is engraved with her name across the top. “Inside the cover.”

Within seconds, Penny is squealing and hopping up to?—

“Whoa,” I mutter, catching her midair as she pounces on me.

I stumble backward a step, taken completely off guard by her sudden outburst of unfiltered joy. Her still damp body feels good against mine.

My hands don’t know where to touch that isn’t bare skin. Every part of her that is covered by a swimsuit feels inappropriate to touch. So I have no other choice but to press my hands against her warmth.

Penny is magnetic, in personality and in the physical sense. If I’m not careful, I’m going to jeopardize the best job I’ve ever had and sever more relationships than I can afford to lose.

I may not have had a forever family, but I do have a found family.

And I can’t afford to mess up the one place where I feel like I belong.

Dammit.

Our hearts are beating so rapidly, it is hard to tell whose is whose. And in this moment, I gained more than just a hug; I gained a memory. An embedded concoction of emotions, wrapped up into a singular event in time…

“What got you so excited, Penny?” Donna asks, laughing over her reaction.

Penny’s eyes lock on to mine, as I slowly release her and set her back on her feet. “You got me Grace and Jace tickets for their fall concert?” she asks, obviously surprised by my gift.

I clear my throat. “I did.”

She examines the tickets. “They are playing at the garden. Oh, ha, that’s why I have passes there too. And they just announced their tour dates. I didn’t even know tickets were being sold. Yeah, this is basically awesome.”

Her words come out as one stream of consciousness, and if I said it wasn’t adorable, I’d be lying.

But in the span of just a few days, I’ve gotten really good at lying to myself.

To think that I can do this job and maintain the loyalty a man with honor upholds…might be the biggest lie of all.

“Collins?”

“Yes?”

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