Page 225 of If Our Hearts Collide

COLLINS

I can’t sleep.

Every part of me is wide awake and overthinking the biggest decision I’m ever going to make with the Hoffman princess lying right beside me.

What alternate universe am I living in to think that this won’t blow up in my face?

I know Penny is insecure over her inexperience. However, I’m the one who is experiencing multiple firsts ever since she pried her way into my life.

She is a lioness dressed up as a lamb.

In hindsight, I never stood a chance against her. In a way, it almost seems silly thinking that I could have resisted her at all. The moment I was officially assigned to her was the kiss of death on my self-control.

Sure, I’ve spent many hours in Seattle watching over Penny’s treatment regimen and caretakers. I was always making sure I checked up on her progress and overseeing the facility when they didn’t know I was watching.

But nothing prepared me for officially being Penny’s bodyguard and the adrenaline rush running through my bloodstream right now.

Never once have I invited a partner to my bed—let alone my apartment. Never once have I spooned with anyone or actually lain beside someone with the intention of just sleeping.

Yet, here I am, snuggled behind this beautiful enchantress, who is so freaking sexy wearing nothing but my T-shirt and her lacy panties.

How in the hell did the stars align in the universe that granted me this one moment in life?

I know where our relationship is heading, but the forceful desire I feel in this single blip in time to rip her clothes off and rock my body on top of hers is almost more than I can handle right now.

Just being in the same bed as Penny is agony enough. Yet there is nowhere else she belongs more than right here with me.

But this is close to straight-up masochism.

Especially with how Penny is moaning as I rub her arms and hands. She enjoys my touch, and a sense of relief rushes through my veins that she isn’t freaked out over it. The last thing I would ever want is for our pending arrangement to cause her any harm—or a setback on her mental health progress. She’s been through a lot of trauma. I don’t need to make her continued healing worse.

And that’s what she’s doing—healing. Perhaps our union can lessen some of her pain and insecurities over her own self-image. I damn well will try to tell her and show her just how beautiful I find her, because I do find her irresistible.

“That feels so good. I love to be massaged,” she coos, relaxing her head back against mine.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“It’s not a disturbance if I crave everything your touch can deliver.”

I breathe in her sweet scent.

The smell of strawberries will surely be all over my sheets, and I will undoubtedly regret the moment they’ll need to be washed.

I place gentle kisses to her neck and then to her ear. “Sleep well, my princess. Because tomorrow, after we go through our formal expectations, you’ll officially be mine.”

“Hmm…” Leaning her head back at an angle, her eyes find mine. “I’m not tired.”

“You need sleep.”

“You aren’t sleeping.”

She has a point. “I’d much rather watch you sleep.”

“That’s creepy.”

I laugh. “I’ll try to be less creepy.”

Penny thinks about it for a minute. “You sure you don’t want to break the rules?”

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