Page 21 of If Our Hearts Collide

Twenty-two candles.

Twenty-two years she has been alive, and almost half my age of thirty-eight. It’s hard for me to remember what I was like when I was twenty-two years old. I’m not even sure much has changed in me on an intrinsic level. I have the same mindset as I did over a decade ago. It’s just that now I have the resources to fulfill any plans I have for the future.

But what are my plans? Do I even have a vision?

I never really cared before now. I have been too content working for Graham Hoffman to care about much else at this stage of my life. I do my job, I go home, and I wash-and-repeat.

Sure, I work out and partake in some sexually freeing fun. But other than that, I don’t have much of an identity.

I definitely don’t have a legacy built on a family name like the Hoffmans do.

So why have I been satisfied up until now when I see how intently Penny is staring at her lit candles? She is preparing her wish, and I’m not even sure what I would wish for if I was given the chance to make one.

Penny blows out her candles, and secretly I hope that whatever she wished for comes true. A girl like her deserves what her heart desires.

I lose track of the scene around me, and it isn’t until Donna passes me a slice with a strawberry on top that I realize the cake has been cut and served.

I eat in silence, having a hard time swallowing each bite, as I think about my own life.

What am I striving to be?

What goals do I have?

Closing my eyes, I make a wish of my own…

And it’s to take more risks.

5

COLLINS

“Everyone knows it’s not a party at the Hoffmans without?—”

“Alcohol!” Nic chimes in, making his mom stop all movement.

I can’t help but smirk. I also can’t help but be drawn to Penny and her expressions of joy.

“No. Well…yes, but that’s not what I was thinking.”

“Oh, I know!” Graham yells, raising his hand animatedly. “Mom sharing embarrassing stories of my childhood.”

“No, but speaking of which… Did I ever tell you all the story where Graham watered the house plants by peeing on them? They all died within a month.”

“No, you didn’t,” Angie says, turning to look at him.

He shrugs and tries to appear innocent. “It was all natural irrigation.”

“Gross!” Nic yells.

“Oh, but did I tell you about Nic’s childhood obsession with”—Donna pauses to let out her own laugh—“stickers? Well, I came home from the grocery store one day, and he was so proud to show me his fancy sticker project. You know, the one where he took menstrual pads and stuck them all over his bedroom wall.”

“You didn’t,” Claire says, shaking her head.

“It was my most creative project to date.”

“And then there’s P?—”

“Storytime is over,” Penny says in a hurry, probably trying to move on before her mom shares something about her. “And I think I know the answer to Momma’s question. It’s family games.”

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