Page 195 of If Our Hearts Collide

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

Michael nods but doesn’t look upset, and that is comforting to me for some unknown reason. “As you watch what unfolds, you can hit your color to represent your comfort level—orlimit—for that particular type of play.”

“Okay…”

“So red is a strong no. Choosing red means you only want to watch. Green means that you would like to be invited to participate. You can end the scene at any moment, but green basically gives those around you access to openly explore more with you. And yellow is for uncertainty and means you are intrigued by what you see, but whoever is in charge of the scene should still proceed with caution. Your limit would be more of a testing the waters approach.”

I nod as I absorb all of this new information. I’m familiar with the upstairs scene rooms. That’s where I caught Daphne and Collins doing their thing. The mere thought of them causes my temper to rise inside thinking about the two of them together. I mean, Daphne had a thing going with a bunch of other men—Michael included—so who knows if she actually likes Collins or just likes what he can give to her.

“If you need assistance at any time tonight, there’s a hidden button on the inside of the bracelet that you can push and either myself or Master Yuri will find you. Lockers are available for your personal items. Remember, no phones or recording devices—no exceptions. Open bar is available but don’t overdo it. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

We part ways, and I walk through the huge door. The lobby is dimly lit just as I remember from last time. I find the locker area and place my belongings inside, securing the lock into place. Imake a mental reminder to myself not to forget them when the night is over.

Taking three deep breaths, I try to calm my nerves. If I just want to be an observer tonight, I need to keep my light at red. No one will bother me. I can still have a good time and not feel any pressure. If I want to push my limits, I can choose to do that at my own will—on my own time.

I got this.

What could go wrong?

Ugh, probably a ton of things I just don’t want to analyze right now. I’m here, so I might as well enjoy myself.

Despite feeling the pangs of inadequacy, I want to explore and overcome my fears. I owe it to myself to try for that personal growth. If this past year taught me anything, it’s that life is too short to wait for the perfect time.

My feet transport me to the main floor where there’s dancing, the huge bar, and people mingling in a variety of outfits. My leather shorts and fiery-red silk halter top seem conservative in comparison, but I don’t feel comfortable taking everything off to reveal the panty set underneath just yet.

My heartbeat thumps to the rhythm of the music, as I watch dancers grind and gyrate against one another. It’s a sultry wave that beckons me to ride, knowing that if I’m not careful I could drown.

I’ve always loved to dance. But do I just jump into the crowd? I missed some of the parties and clubbing adventures in my limited college days, so I don’t know what’s good etiquette or not. The last thing I want to do is feel like an intruder.

If Luke was here, he’d tell me that dancing is ninety percent confidence and ten percent skill—and just to go for it.

So I go for it.

Making my way to the center of the dance floor, I feel the touch of a hand on my elbow, causing me to turn around and look into Daphne’s eyes.

“You returned,” she says sweetly.

I shrug. “Yeah. Figured I’d try this place out again.” I play with my fingernails, worried that I’m being awkward. The last time I saw her, Daphne was getting her ass beaten by Collins. Maybe tonight I can resist rescuing anyone who doesn’t need saving.

“It’s my favorite night.” Her body seems to be humming with excitement, and her energy is helping my own.

“Oh yeah?”

“I’m all about pushing the boundaries, and this night is dedicated to just that.”

I twist my fingers together. I don’t really know what to say.

“Look,” she starts. “I didn’t know you had a thing going on with Collins.”

“A thing? No. We don’t have anything going on.” I mean, I can’t very well say that he’s my bodyguard that my two overprotective brothers hired—can I?

She looks at me with confusion. “Oh. Well, umm, you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. You’re free to explore him or whatever it is you do here together.”

No sooner are the words falling from my lips, than I am wanting to shove them back inside. I don’t mean it. I’m just bitter with them both.

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