Page 182 of If Our Hearts Collide

How is she able to maintain professionalism when I’m in a desperate state of mind to send Collins Stone a message? I still can’t believe he snooped through basically a private journal entry.

“I appreciate this, Claire.”

She holds her hands to her heart. “It is my honor that you thought of me first when you were in your time of need. You know I sent your brother a massive dick cake for being a massive dick when he messed up the good thing we had going on?”

“Oh, I know. I saw it in the fridge once when I was visiting. My eyes can never unsee.”

She laughs. “Trust me, he deserved it.”

“Oh, I bet. Punk always deserves what you choose to serve up.”

“Okay”—Claire claps her hands together—“back to business. We have a lot to discuss, but I’m going to warn you about something…”

“This sounds ominous…”

She pulls up a bent leg onto the couch cushion and gives me a smirk. “I’m in my Revenge Era, so I might enjoy this more than you.”

I’m not sure what that means, but all of her previous eras were epic. So I trust that Claire will rock this one as well.

I almost feel bad for my brother…

She is so fierce, and I admire her strength and resilience so much.

“Fair enough.”

“But be warned. If some guy did you wrong and your brothers find out, they won’t hesitate to let Collins know and rid the world of his existence. Granted, I’m not supposed to know any of these things, and technically I don’t have proof. But, let’s just say that I can read between the lines well when it comes to those possessive men.”

I swallow hard. She’s right. Well, exceptCollinsis the one who did me wrong.

“I even vetted a few custom bake options, hoping your brother would mess up and warrant a tasty dick cake 2.0. But the man has been nearly perfect and by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“That is just too sweet.” I knew my brother would take a while to settle down, but I’m thrilled he has done it with Claire. They are the perfect match. Seeing them together makes me want what they have.

“Okay, let’s talk details. Realistic or cartoonish?”

I laugh. “Excuse me?”

“This is a serious question, Penny. Stop laughing. Are you looking for veins and varying colors of pink and purple, or are you wanting exaggerated hair and googly eyeballs and a mouth? Ohhh, or a chlamydia outbreak for funsies? The options are pretty endless, really. Actually, do you have a dick pic? Like a real one and not a stock image.” She does the give-me-give-me hands. “That would be very helpful.”

I suck in air through my teeth, trying to keep myself from irritating her further by giggling. I don’t think I’ve given thiswhole revenge gift enough thought—obviously. From the cake she once sent my brother, I know she is the right person to help me with this task. I just never thought there would be this much to consider. “Umm, cartoonish?”

“Pierced or not pierced?”

“I, ah…”

“Oh, you haven’t seen his dick yet?”

“No.” Well, I felt the impression of it and it’s intimidating as fuck. What is happening? Why am I so overwhelmed? “Okay, maybe no piercing.”

“Well, with cartoonish, anything goes. So…” Claire taps her finger along her jaw. “You could include one as like a threat?” She giggles. “That actually sounds fun—yeah?” Before I can answer, she continues, “It’s really just a personal preference.”

“Surprise me.”

Rubbing her hands together as if casting some special spell, she takes a deep breath and cracks her knuckles. “Your wish is my command. This is going to be so good.”

“What are you girls up to?” Nic says, his voice cutting through our laughter. He eyes us both suspiciously.

Claire tosses the notebook where she was writing all of the details, including cute little penis doodles, behind the couch. “Oh, nothing.” She busies herself with a bottle of pills that are on the end table, which I assume are her prenatal vitamins.

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