Page 167 of If Our Hearts Collide

“I don’t have a pussy,” I blurt out, not realizing how fucked up I sound even partaking in this exchange.

“Do you like creaming in pussies, Collins?”

I can feel my face wrinkling. “What the hell, Penny?”

“But it’s not like my pussy has seen much action. I kinda feel bad for it. Is it an it? She? Her? Scaredy pussy. That’s what I should name it. Neil got close to it and then my scaredy pussy overreacted. If only I could shut off the doom flashes. Then I could get laid.”

Reaching for my phone, I send a quick text to Chris.

Collins: Find out who the fuck Neil is.

Chris: Aye, aye, Captain Redeye.

I honestly don’t remember Chris being this annoying. But he is.

Turning to Penny, I take a deep breath and brace myself. “Who the hell is Neil?”

“Oh, he’s the one that calls me a little woodland animal. Um, little fawn? No, that was Yuri. Oh, um, little dove. Nope. What is with men calling girls forest animals?”

She’s trying my patience. Does she normally talk this much? If I didn’t have to take her home to sober the hell up, I’d hunt down Neil and make sure he stays away from Penny Hoffman. She is off-fucking-limits.

Limit-X isoff-limits as well. If she thinks she’ll ever step foot in this club again, then she miscalculated how headstrong I can be.

Starting the engine, I back out of the parking spot and pull out onto the road.

Penny’s giggling makes me nervous.

“Just as long as these men don’t run out of options and resort to calling me a farm animal name. ‘Come here, little heifer’ doesn’t quite get the juices flowing in the southern hemisphere. ‘Or come here, ya little mule.’ Sexy, eh? Little billy goat.”

I stifle my own laughter. She really can be quite entertaining.

“Collins!”

Darting my eyes to her and slowing down my speed, I ask, “What? What’s wrong?”

“The trees are moving!”

Oh, my goodness. “Penelope,” I snap. “It’s us that is moving.”

“Oh, ha.” Now she can’t stop giggling.

Great.

“Keep drinking that water.”

“Collins?”

I brace myself. “Yes?”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

No. “Do I even have a choice?”

“No.”

“Go ahead.”

“What are your top three porn searches?”

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