Page 152 of If Our Hearts Collide

He may not have raped me at the time…but he is raping my mind now. He is infiltrating it with every known evil.

His lips are on me. Dousing me with his hatred.

No.

Stop.

Please stop!

“No!”

Even my own voice causes me to startle. I turn and glare at Mark, as he morphs back into Neil, who is shockingly naked. When did he even remove his clothes? There were so many of them.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.” My words come out choked. I need to get out of here.

I am so deeply retracted into the life I once lived that all those months of therapy can’t even compete with how lousy I feel right now at this very moment. I don’t belong here. I don’t really belong anywhere. It’s as if every single lesson ingrained into me from Soulful Mind has resurrected from the hallows of my consciousness, just to get obliterated and sent back into hell.

Therapy only prepared me for hypothetical situations. But right now is real…

And it is clear that I still have a lot of work left to do.

With awareness of my surroundings sinking into my thoughts, I scrape as much self-preservation as I can muster up, just so I can find the free will to escape here before anyone else intrudes on my misery. That’s the thing with embarrassment. It shows no mercy.

I guess the silver lining of this whole debacle is that now I know. Now I know that no amount of makeup or designer lingerie can mask the fact that I’m not okay.

I wasn’t before.

I sure as hell am not now.

And the once glimmer of hope that I had walking into this place has been burnt at the stake and turned to unharvestable ash. It was a pathetic belief that a place like Limit-X could change the damage that still exists inside of me.

Sure, I didn’t know walking in tonight to this building that this was a kink palace. But prior mental preparation would not have changed any amount of damage that I carry around like scars.

I feel so freaking stupid. Stupid for trusting that I’m strong enough. Stupid for coming here in the first place.

I frantically fix the straps of my outfit, tugging them up so hard that I scratch my neck. Then I make my escape, leaving a naked Neil behind without another word.

I mean, what else is there to say? Pretty sure he’ll never talk to me again if I ever possess the courage to come back here. That’s assuming I’m not blacklisted from the entire property if he speaks with Yuri about my erratic behavior.

When I get into the hall, I turn and run to where I think are the stairs but find myself passing through another section that I’ve never seen before. How did I get so turned around?

The space is muted from the dimmed light coming from wall sconces. It reminds me of the lobby, yet has an entirely different vibe.

There are no windows to allow in natural light, and it’s fitting, because nothing about this room feels inviting.

Several groups of people are gathered, spectating on what I can only assume is something a bit more X-rated. I stand on my tiptoes and crane my neck. I can feel the sexual energy stirring amongst the crowd, as those watching shift on their feet and keep their eyes straight ahead.

SMACK.

What.

SMACK.

The.

SMACK.

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