Page 134 of If Our Hearts Collide

“I knew you would make this weird.”

26

PENNY

If there’s one thing I learned in therapy, it’s to push myself a few inches past what I think I can handle. It worked in my favor taking the leap of faith on this apartment, so it may work again. Sure, Luke is extra, but at least he seems harmless. If anything he’s predictable in his over-the-top sexuality.

And right now in this stage of my life, predictable is comforting.

Plus, he supplied me with some great pointers on dance moves, as well as the cat-and-mouse game that men seem to like. It’s not like I’ve ever had free access to the male brain from someone so willing to dump whatever is on his mind.

And with Luke, there’s no reading between the lines. He says it how it is, and I kind of like that.

But despite all of the mental prep work I’ve done for tonight, I still find myself twitchy, since I clearly do not know what to expect from the actual Glow Night event.

There’s a lot of really fun clubs in and around Portland. Well, so I’ve heard. I’ve never actually had a chance to fully experience any of them.

Angie and Claire have been known to cause quite the ruckus at a few of them. It’s no wonder my brothers keep them surrounded by a whole security squad. But I don’t want that tonight.

And as much as it would be fun having Angie and Claire be a part of this, I need to not use their company as a security blanket.

So I’m on my own tonight, just as I’ve been on my own most nights for an entire year.

While it does feel sad not to have anyone to lean on, I do find it oddly refreshing not to have anyone to watch me be awkward in a social situation.

Granted, the goal is to blend in and not stand out.

I spent a couple of hours online, analyzing descriptions and images, trying to determine what the theme of Glow Night really entailed. Luckily, the little boutiques in town have a delivery service that makes everything super convenient to come up with a last-minute outfit.

Honestly, this is where not having a female roommate is really an inconvenience. At least then, we could possibly share clothes.

Figuring that white lights would be present, I opted for a white miniskirt and a white halter top. I also got a cute neon light-up necklace that has a pink glowing flower as the pendant.

Tonight is my opportunity to face some social fears and try to expand on my friends list which just happens to have one member right now—Luke.

Grabbing my journal, I try to manifest the hell out of any positive energy circulating around me.

It’s time to cross off another goal from my list. Who knows, maybe even a couple will get accomplished all in one outing.

Making my way to my own closet, I pull down the outfit I had picked out specifically for tonight from its hangers. I steamed out the wrinkles but have yet to try it on.

I strip down, tossing my lounge clothes into the hamper, and slip on my white panty and strapless bra set that is made of silk and lace. It always makes me feel special to have nice undergarments—even if I don’t have plans for anyone to see them.

I slide on the halter top next, tying the strap around my neck into a bow. The front rides up, completely revealing my navel and abs, and there’s not much I can do to stop that either—unless I tug it down and expose more cleavage. My boobs are basically counting on the tie not to fail, otherwise the top would be rendered useless.

When I eye the matching miniskirt, I know my booty is not going to fit.

How did I not notice its length so I could find a backup outfit?

The skirt is basically panties without the crotch.

This is all entirely my fault for buying something last-minute and expecting it to work out. But it’s not like these things typically get tried on in a store anyway.

Sticking to the theme of the night, I have no choice but to pull them on and wiggle my tush inside without ripping the seam.

At least the material stretches to accommodate my curves—and I have them. I’ll just have to be extra cautious if I need to bend over to pick something up.

Opting for modesty, which is almost like a running joke going on in my head, I slide on a pair of thigh high panty hose, a garter belt, and then secure the clips into place.

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