Page 21 of Implode

“I just wanted a drink. And now I am traumatized by a freaking cake!”

Oh shit. Claire’s gift. I completely forgot the leftover cake was put in the fridge to keep fresh. “Yeah, about that…” I rub the bridge of my nose. There’s no way to make this less awkward. “It was a gag gift.”

“Eww! Don’t saygag.Ugh, Nic, really?”

I chuckle. “It’s a really good cake. At least cut a slice.”

Penny shutters. “I am not going to Lorena Bobbitt you. I can’t. I just can’t!” She then pulls a glass down from the cupboard and fills it with tap water. “I am just glad you aren’t vain enough to order a cake like that for yourself.”

“It actually is really good quality cake,” I defend.

“Yeah, if you can get past the visual.”

“I may order one for myself in the future, without the dick.”

Penny makes the most obnoxious face. She returns to the sofa with the bag of popcorn opened and leaking out a billowing mist of steam. She leans it toward me, and I take a handful and throw some into my mouth. I make a face at how salty it is. It is almost inedible. “Who did you screw over to earn that type of culinary creation?” She’s referring to the cake again. It really is a showstopper.

“Why do you assume the worst in me?” I scoff.

“Please tell me it isn’t Claire. I really like her.”

I look at Penny with disbelief. “You met her once, Pen.Once,” I remind.

It was over Christmas. There was such a sadness to Claire then. I now look back and wonder if she was getting emotionally abused by Ethan Maxwell then. Not spending the holidays with your girlfriend is a huge red flag.

“Well, that is all it takes for me to know when I like someone or not. When you know, you know.”

I munch on another handful of popcorn and toss a few pieces at Penny’s head. She retaliates by rubbing my head with her knuckles. To many, Penny may seem introverted. However, around family, she comes to life. As the baby in the family, she was always on a short leash when it came to exploring the world. Between me and Graham keeping tabs on her, she never had the chance to really make the mistakes that most teens make. It didn’t stop her from making them after high school, though. A part of me still regrets moving away for college and not being there for her to keep her safe. She doesn’t see it that way, but it is hard not to feel some sort of responsibility.

I watch as Penny readjusts her green army jacket and matching ball cap. Ever since going to the facility, she’s been loving the grunge look and seems the happiest when she is sporting comfortable clothes. I’m sure with nowhere really to go, it doesn’t make sense to get fancy while taking up residence there.

“I just wish you would find something other than work to focus on, Nic.”

I guess we are back to talking about me. Never before has Penny cared this much about this particular aspect of my personal life.

“Why does happiness have to be equated with a relationship status, Pen?” I challenge.

“It doesn’t,” Penny mumbles, struggling to chew and talk at the same time. She slinks back into the throw pillow, knocking some popcorn accidentally onto the area rug. “I just know that you have a lot of amazing qualities, and some lucky lady would be stupid to pass up on all you have to offer.”

“How are you so sure I am even a good person? Maybe I’m the exact opposite.”

She scrunches up her face at me. “That’s just what you want others to think so you don’t have to actually go through your catalog of emotions and select one that remotely implies that you care.”

Wow. Penny sure has a grasp on my typical behavior. Young, wise, and free. That’s what she is. Well, almost free. And when she is finally released, I’ll have a whole new set of worries.

I don’t negate anything she is saying. Plus, seeing the spark back in her personality is worth having her psychoanalyze my life—which seems to be the theme of those close to me.

“Not every female is that bitch, Tara, Nic. Some women really do want to build a life on trust. Not everyone cheats.”

I’ve been miserable since brokenhearted Claire walked out of the guest room at Graham’s. I did that to her.

I hate myself for putting her in the middle of a bet. Sure, my motive was to get her away from her abuser Ethan as fast as I could. Creating a scene that she would despise him for forever seemed logical at the time. However, I am no better than he is. I’m the same type of abusing scum.

But Claire trusted me anyway afterwards. That phenomenon right there is the sad part. Why did she? Why did she even give me the time of day after the shit I pulled? Was I the lesser of two evils? All I did was convince her passively to leave one man, just to jump into bed with someone else unworthy of her love.

Claire and I were starting to form something…

Special?

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