Page 8 of Implode

My heart fills with sadness. It is hard being around the lovebirds when I still feel the raw emotion of Nic not reciprocating my feelings. I check my phone for the time and then excuse myself to go sit in the meditation room that I set up for reflection and serenity. Sometimes after Angie leaves for the day, I come in here and sit. I listen to a soundtrack or just enjoy the noise of my own thoughts. Today is no different.

I put on some earthy sounds and allow my shoulders to relax. I sip on my soda and enjoy the taste of the fizzy beverage. My stomach feels so much better, and I think I can have a day of normalcy—which sounds quite refreshing right now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see several new arrivals enter the main office space. I take a deep breath, fix my hair in the reflection of the glass, and then walk out to greet them with a smile.

“Hi, I’m Claire,” I say, shaking each of their hands. I know how daunting it is to start a new job, so I try to keep smiling and not show any of my previous stress through my gestures.

The new employees introduce themselves again to Angie and me, as well as each other. We have a Director of Design, a Vice President of Product, a Head of Human Resources, a Director of Public Relations and Marketing, and a Senior Sales Lead. Each employee we hired is eager to make a splash inside the subscription box industry.

For a start-up, all of the new hires have a title, as well as an equity stake in the company. Vesting periods are set over the course of several years of employment—encouraging loyalty but also fostering the drive for success. If everyone feels like the outcome of the company matters to them on a personal level, then the employees are more inclined to do a stellar job. Plus, who wouldn’t want to potentially strike it rich if we take off? I could definitely use the money to pay off my accumulating debt, that’s for sure.

While our new hires range in age and experience, it is hard not to feel inadequate when lining my own resume up against theirs. I push down my insecurities and put on my game face as I give a tour of our office space. Each branch will have its own area on the floor, with common conference areas set up for all-hands discussions. The new hires today are essentially in charge of hiring for their teams and building the platform needed with our proposed budget. Angie is definitely not a numbers person, so I handled the hiring of a CFO who is starting tomorrow.

After the tour, Angie and I give a presentation on our vision. I discuss the idea around the subscription box service, while Angie discusses the logistics needed to push us to market. Our new employees take notes and vote on our proposed timeline. Each department branch is given a spending budget, while the Head of HR handles the company credit card distribution. Everything seems to be going smoothly, and by the time I look at the clock, it is already time for our lunch break.

Gourmet Chef delivers a wonderful buffet right here in the office, allowing us to gather as a team to celebrate this milestone. Flowers, balloons, and a photographer arrive for an impromptu photoshoot—all courtesy of Graham.

“Wow,” I say to Angie, as she wraps an arm around me, taking in the scene as it unfolds. “We are really doing this.”

“I’m thrilled to be starting this chapter with you.”

The rest of the afternoon is a blur. I feel energized and on a high that can only be experienced when hard work pays off. At around six o’clock, I call it quits and slump down on the couch to check my phone. I put in a ten-hour day and can barely keep my eyes open, I am that tired.

I check my email and see that one of the studio apartment buildings I applied for wants me to come in for a formal interview tomorrow morning at seven o’clock sharp. They have one unit available and are basically doing me a favor, since I am able to pay weekly instead of monthly. In addition, an advance on rent is not required, because they want to fill the space as soon as possible. I almost want to sign without even seeing the place. It is my only chance to move off of the cheesy-poof couch that Blake has let me borrow. I’m so over smelling like stale cheese every morning and requiring another shower. Plus, Henry keeps trying to catch me in my underwear every time he enters the common area. I am over it.

My eyes grow heavy over the words on my screen, and I promise myself that I am only going to close them for five minutes before I head over to the loft. I yawn and snuggle into the back cushions of the couch and use a throw pillow to rest my head. Everything is so comfy. I feel like I am melting into it.

I must be in a deep dreamlike state, because when I open my eyes, the lights are dimmed and Nic is hovering over me with the absence of an actual expression on his face. I close my eyes again and shake my head at the absurdity of my mind dreaming him up. Turning my face into the pillow, I remember all the good times we had together. Him buying me motion sickness medicine, me wearing his white dress shirt on the plane, him finding ways to feed me pancakes, us enjoying the helicopter tour and gambling in the casino together. I think about the selfie stick, our late-night walks, and the moment he pulled me out of the fountain at Caesars Palace. It is like a montage of memories playing one after another in my head.

My mind drifts and drifts, and when I’m about to go even deeper into my memories, it is the smell of citrus and wood that brings me back to the surface—keeping me afloat. My eyes open, and I blink to adjust to the change of light and my scenery. Where am I? I sit up and notice a soft blanket draped over me. I push it to the side and look around. Shit. I fell asleep in the Plus None office, just like I promised myself I wouldn’t. I look for my phone on the end table and do not find it. I get up and turn on a nearby lamp. Then I bend over the sofa and start moving cushions until I find my phone hidden in a crevice of the upholstery.

I glance at the notification screen, seeing a series of texts from Blake and a couple from Angie. There’s one missed call from Nic right around the time I decided to lie down. My eyes dart to the clock, and I see that it is currently three in the morning. I count back the hours until I come to the realization that I have slept here for nine hours. Holy hell, I must have been tired.

I move about the office, packing up the bag I brought. When I push through the main doors, I am startled to find Nic camped out on a chair in the hallway, breathing rhythmically. I stand in awe, staring at his form. He looks like he hasn’t slept in a month, and his normal calm demeanor has vanished. Even in his sleep, Nic looks visibly stressed. Tense.

I tiptoe past him and hear the sound of his throat clearing. I jump into the air, almost tripping.

“Shit, don’t do that!” I snap, holding my hand to my heart. “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

“Your hair…”

“What about it?” My words come out harsh. I’m still mad at him for scaring me.

“I like it.”

“Okay.”

“A lot.”

His eyes move over me like melted chocolate, warming me from the inside out. I am taken aback by his compliment. Part of me wants to say, “thank you,” while the other part of me wants to say, “suck it.” So, I just ignore his comment and instead ask, “What are you doing here?”

“I have to let you out or the alarm will go off, alerting the Portland police of an intruder.”

“You knew I was in here sleeping the whole time?” I ask stupidly.

“Yes, Claire. I know everything that happens in this building.”

“Then why not wake me up or send someone else to do it?” I huff. “I’ve been here napping on the couch for over nine hours.”

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