Page 68 of Implode

“I can’t keep doing this,” I tell Asher. I run my hands through my hair and let them rest at the back of my neck. “I’m going nuts with the doubt and second-guessing.”

I am still at HH after Claire insisted on having a night off. She said she needed some space and to sleep in her own bed. I wanted to push back. I wanted to demand that I stay with her or move that bed of hers over to my place. However, I know how fragile she is right now, and if she asks for time, I better damn well give her time or risk scaring her off.

Dr. Zimmerman’s voice haunts my thoughts.Focus on what you can control.And my girl cannot be controlled—even with my best intentions.

Everything changed for me when Claire came back from Virginia. I saw someone go from being so spirited and vibrant to being defeated and broken. I can only hope to have a run-in with her family, just to have the chance to tell them that they missed an opportunity to get to know an amazing girl.

Asher clears his throat and looks directly at me via video chat. “He has zero reason to double-cross you, man. Tyler’s references have checked out. He has a clean record. Plus, I have personal experience with him.”

“Anyone can be bribed,” I add, leaning back. “Maybe you can help me set one up to see if he reports back to me. We can call it a test.”

“No, no, no. There is a code men like us live by. If he happened to turn to the darkness, it will be for other reasons besides money. But for the record, I don’t see that ever happening.”

“If he has an interest in my brother’s business ventures, then I need to know why. Maybe he got to see the value or got some insider information.”

If Tyler is the mole, he will never get a job working privacy and security in this country. I will make sure his name gets spread to everyone I know, and if I can get a lawyer to take him to court for something-or-another, I will. A heavy-handed cash flow can cause evidence to just pop up out of thin air.

“You are paranoid, man.”

It’s true. I am.

Tyler has been watching Claire, keeping tabs on her happenings, and has been an excellent resource for when I need jobs handled. Up until recently, I have trusted him implicitly, and he has given me zero reason to question where his loyalty lies. However, someone was trying to get into HH and the resemblance is striking to Tyler’s features.

“I cannot concentrate if I don’t have someone watching my girl.”

“Whoa, wait a minute.”

“What?” I cross my arms over my chest defensively.

“Mr. Hit-Em-And-Quit-Em has upgraded from playing softball to hardball, eh? Let me savor this moment.”

“Shut your face,” I huff at the screen. “You always were so dramatic.”

“But there is a chance you will eventually settle down, right?” he probes.

“I already am settled down, Asher. I have a stable job, a place to live, and no real chance of leaving Portland anytime soon. How much more settled can I get?”

“Put some bling on the fing.”

“Don’t ever say that again,” I deadpan, and when I can’t keep a straight face any longer, I laugh along with Asher. “What’s wrong with you, dude?”

“It’s okay to go slow, Nic.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“No really, man. If you shut yourself off from being open to the possibility of building a future with someone, then that’s where there’s a problem.”

I sigh. “I’m trying.”

“That’s good,” he encourages. “Trying is good.”

“I just need to know who I can trust and not trust.”

“I’ll do a little digging. If you need me to fly up, I have some vacation time that I must take this quarter and”—his eyes get goofy and a big smile breaks out—“I need to meet this magical princess who has stolen your heart and made you turn into a huge sap.”

I shake my head at him. “Whatever.”

“Oh, and for an unsolicited pro-tip, the ladies love original poetry.”

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